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Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates Monday, Wednesday, and Friday every week!

If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!

Previous Updates
Pine Valley:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25A, 25B, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
Clover County: 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118 119, 120. 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155, 156, 157, 158, 159, 160, 161, 162, 163, 164, 165, 166, 167, 168, 169, 170, 171, 172, 173, 174, 175, 176, 177, 178, 179, 180, 181, 182, 183, 184, 186.
Interludes: 1, 2, 3. April Fools' Day: 2014, 2014 Comparison, 2015.
Recaps: 1.

I'm out of order? YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER!

Seriously though, here's 185.

There's the dressed Sharpe man every girl's crazy for.

Kent: help

Victor: I'm almost sure I heard something just now. Just as my hand broke.

WEDNESDAY: And then he did me on the car!
Chelsea: Back in my day, we only had the default doings!

FRIDAY: What malignant influence so scars this pristine white landscape?

FRIDAY: Oh, it's a douchenozzle.


William: Your old-world bigotry is no match for true love!

William: And also I could totally take you.

William: Go find a retrovirus to incubate while free-ranging, you designed by Abigail Young thing.

FRIDAY: I totally forgot our names stood for stuff.

William: Stop saying things that aren't cool things.

WEDNESDAY: Is that a disguise women wear to ward off unwanted suitors?

And then Neila took her tiny Victor doll upstairs with her.

Now you see it too.

WEDNESDAY: So William helped me break up my marriage.
Chelsea: Score!

Chelsea: He's a real magician in the sack, though, wouldn't you say?
WEDNESDAY: Yes. Settled lives go into the sack, ruined ones come out.

Chelsea: You must not have used enough lube.

WEDNESDAY: You're appalling.

So is that haircut.



William: Yeah, let's talk about random townie hotness, random townie stalker.

William: Look, whatever you're selling, I'm not buying. Unless you're hot, and it's sex. In which case I will buy it from you with better sex.
Chelsea: He's a remarkably consistent character.


And then WEDNESDAY confronted a ten-foot-tall Neila.

Now you see it too.

William is a Fortune/Chelsea Sim.

William: And I only want the money so I can afford more Chelsea.

Victor: Oh, like anything can offend you.

Victor: You harlot.

WEDNESDAY: Now young sir, it's inappropriate to judge people by their sexual indiscretion.
Victor: That's the only thing anyone does around here, though!

Victor: And I so badly need to judge them.

Victor: Will you show me how to-
WEDNESDAY: -get sent to jail? No, I most certainly will not.

Victor: Not even if I take you out for a nice tune-up and a bottle of WD40?
WEDNESDAY: Ask me again in ten years.

Neila: I can feel the bad radiating off my hair.


Victor: Gotta go, my ugly sister needs me!

I think their house needs a framed picture of Chelsea playing pool in it, in it.

Victor: Um, hey? Neila?
Neila: Quiet, I'm waiting for someone.

Neila: Oh. Okay, okay. So you know that butler? Mayhew?!

Victor: No!

Victor: Haha!

Neila: And this is why I play with myself.

It's why most girls do, honestly.

Wait, that doesn't mean what it sounds like it means.

FRIDAY: This does.

Chelsea: I'm so happy to be a part of this dysfunctional family!

WEDNESDAY: We're family divorcing you.


Life before cellphones.

Wanna do that on your OWN bed?

Victor: Hell no! She got the real good shocks installed in this one!

Neila: I can't even touch this hideous crap.

And then Neila inflated a stack of phonebooks to enormous proportions.

Now you see it too.

Okay, so... you're looking up someone in the phonebook. From a distance.

Neila: I'm farsighted.

Neila: I know who can help us!
Victor: We've only got two beds, Neila. I think we've got them covered.

Neila: I mean, help us with our other problem.

Neila: That evil butler was my first choice, but apparently he doesn't practice proper stair safety.

Victor: Just so we're clear, you're not hiring anyone to jump on my bed, right?

WEDNESDAY: Where are you off to in such a hurry?
Neila: Nowhere suspicious!
WEDNESDAY: Hm. That's suspicious.

I can't believe you look like you look like when you grow up when you grow up.

Neila: I can see why that would be difficult.

Neila: Hi, Mr. Murphy. You dated my mom once, right?

Neila: Haha yeah, she told us how she kicked your ass.

Neila: Okay, okay, that's the boring science stuff behind it. Just tell me what actual normal-person things I need to do to make this work.

Neila: Because they totally threw her under the bus, that's why!

Neila: I agree, that's an awfully overused metaphor.

Neila: No, I don't think I have the time to become a cult leader. Let's call that "Plan Z."

Neila: No! "Z" because it's the last plan! Not because of zombies. Why is everything zombies with you Generation 2 people?!

Neila: Ohhhh, now you're talkin'!

...what is that.

William: Got a promotion!


William: Guess I'm the Governor now, then?

If I see you looking at eyepatches I'm gonna kill you.

Neila: Please don't tell anyone about this. I'm sure no innocents will suffer from it.

Victor: Did you do whatever boring thing you were doing?
Neila: Go back to bedjumping, Victor.

Victor: Me an' Neila are scheming!
William: Daddy's little clones!

Victor: Mommy's too.

Victor: Help I'm blind

William: I appreciate the welcome, but you're about to freeze to death.
Victor: You can bring me back, then! And mommy too while you're at it.

FRIDAY: Have you considered trading places with her?

William: Yeah, look. I think you need better security at the courthouse. Yes. Because you're gonna try terrorists there. Yeah.

William: Sexy terrorists, too, so make sure you hire the eunuchiest guards you can find.

William: It's about time this mess got settled. Put the zombie sympathisers and Knowledge Sims on an ice floe, that sort of thing.

William: No, I mean it. Name me one Knowledge Sim who isn't at least forty percent evil.

William: If things don't improve in two weeks top, I volunteer to be the first of the Fortune Sim purge.

William: YES I'm kidding. God. I'm the Governor now, remember? Can't do anything that might upset my re-election prospects.

William: Yes I'm serious! They promoted me today! Which is apparently how that works! Yeah, anyway.

William: We've got some cleaning up to do.

How's it feel to be the Governor's daughter?

Neila: I've seen The Walking Dead. It doesn't end well for her.

In fairness, it doesn't end well for anybody.

Much like this story.

Good idea.

Maybe lay down some traps, too.

William: Hey Andrew. Why did someone call you from this number?
Andrew: Is that a really complex way of saying you don't know why you called me?

William: What happened to us, Andrew? We used to be such good buddies, and now I'm amazing and you're Andrew.
Andrew: I really enjoy our lack of conversations.

William: Remember that time I kicked your ass? Haha. Anyway I'm the Governor now. Pretty awesome.

William: I dunno about all the complimentary whores they keep sending me, though.

William: They could at least find some new ones.

WEDNESDAY: #5 is the new #1!

WEDNESDAY: We're all gonna die.

William: Yup! We're all gonna die! I told them to install bomb detectors, but they opted for, and I quote, "stricter signage."

William: So hey, how's your wife I fucked? She's probably going to jail soon.

William: Wow. I'll just leave you down here to get that out of your system.

William: Don't start with me, roboho.

William: Gonna make you a robohobo.

Holy shit. This can't be happening.

William: I mandate that it can be!

William: You've been good to me, sexyshades, but people don't trust a politician when they can't see their eyes.

William: I'm gonna assume that's why, anyway.

William: Who wouldn't trust this face?

Anyone who knows who it belongs to.

Meanwhile, Melanie? I think?

Have some Daisies.

I mean, daisies.


Got caught up in the irony.

Shiloh: I don't wanna grow up.

Luckily you never do.

William: I'm so important, even cold can't get hold of me.

William: See this, honey? This means you're dead and less awesome than me.

Ohh. It's Sunny. Those are sunflowers.


William: Seriously though, why, Sunny? Why must you always die?

'cuz you keep killing her?


William: Oh well. She was kinda dull anyway.


William: Everyone around here is fucking nuts and they're all fucking evil and I don't think it's gonna stop until I give them all a bullet bath.



William: On the other hand, maybe that was the last gasp of the zombie problem! Maybe everything's going back to normal now, like it was for more than a hundred chapters!

God no. Anything but that.

William: I'm gonna make you a friend, Sunny.

William: He'll eventually melt into you. How 'bout that?

William: I'd call him "Jack Frost" but I'd be afraid of getting the bad one.

William: Which is the Michael Keaton one, not the awesome serial killer one.

Snowy Ramone: -is bitchin'-

William: You two kids play nice.

William: This spy needs to come in from the cold.

William: Hey Daisy. C'mon, say it.
Daisy: -sigh-
William: SAY IT.
Daisy: Hi I'm Daisy.

William: Man, I think she froze the receiver with that frostiness.


William: Mmm. I love the smell of servitude in the evening.

Daisy: Smells like slavery.


William: These are victory omelettes. Because I killed a bunch of zombies. And some other people. But we're gonna blame them on the zombies too.

Daisy: Being dead really fucks up your appetite, you know?


Daisy: What the fuck are you wearing, dude? Did you win first prize in a booty contest or something?

William: Niiiiice.

William: And yes.

William: But in other news, I own everything now.


Daisy: I didn't think this state had a governor.
William: That's probably why they were too embarassed to hold an election.

William: We'd have to give the entire thing back to the SimBritish if they found out!

William: Hey, you know Randy?
Daisy: No?
William: Good, he's lame.

Just... pretend I typed out the Simlish.

I'm gonna need a mod to ban this interaction.




Where could that have come from?!

Daisy: All hail Grugly, the Looniest of Toons!
William: Long may my foot throb!


And then they both drowned.

Tada! The end! OF CHEERS

William: My life is gonna end badly.

Daisy: Then you'd better pack some goodly in there to balance it out!

William: Do you hurt me like that just so I know I'm still alive?

Daisy: Baby, I hurt you because it makes me feel alive.

Daisy: What the fuck is that.

Daisy: No, seriously.
William: My dad took it.
Daisy: Who'd he take it from?

Daisy: What's the other one of?
William: Mom driving to work while she's pregnant with me.
Daisy: Kinda sums up ouwouou your entire family, doesn't it?

William: I'd ask what you almost said there, but this ass is already begging for my attention.

Daisy: It's doing that on my libido's behalf.

Daisy: Wow, this is some high-quality material!
William: Only the best on the taxpayer's dime!

Daisy: Corrupt me, Mr. Governor.

William: I was thinking I'd pork your barrel, actually.

William: If that sounded like anal I didn't mean anal.

Daisy: That is one attractive clarification.

Daisy: I keep thinking I must have imagined this thing.

William: Nobody could imagine something so ridiculous.

Daisy: Remove my tonsils while you're in there.

Translated from the dickmouth.

Daisy: Why is your hand up there?
William: So I can warn you if there's sudden pressure on the back of your skull.

Daisy: Your penis needs a warning label.

Daisy: Hey, watch it. I've got mad dickmouth going.

Daisy: And now you do too.



Daisy: Girls must love dating you.

That Schrödinger's Cat is still in the box.

William: Pussy joke!

Double pussy joke!

Daisy: I'm relieved you put no effort into it.

William: Wow, this skintone sure is familiar!
Daisy: From your dreams, I'm sure.

William: MAN, you've got muscles! What's your routine?
Daisy: It's all in the wrist.

William: I don't get it.

Daisy: Good for you.

Daisy: Good for all of us, really.
William: *yawn*

Daisy: Am I boring you?
William: For a moment I thought you were the only person in this neighbourhood without a dark and mysterious past, and it was so hot and novel.

Daisy: We can pretend I'm boring if that's what interests you.

William: You seem preoccupied.
Daisy: I'm thinking about your ex-wife, on fire.
William: In hell?
Daisy: No. In my house. On fire.

William: Can I watch?

Daisy: Do you want to watch this?

William: Is it mine?
Daisy: Probably.
William: Why does that bother me so much?

Daisy: He's gonna have really uncomplicated genetics, I can tell you that much.

William: What does that mean?
Daisy: Aren't you wondering why I assume he's a he?
William: No, I know Captain Sparkles is set to "male first" mode.

Daisy: We're gonna be parents, William!
William: I'm already a parent!
Daisy: We can throw them out and start over now, though!

William: Let's give them at least another year to prove their worth.

Daisy: As long as we're doing this all year, I'm in.
William: I am also in.

Don't get so excited, guys.

Daisy: Trust me, the vagina is grinning ear to ear.

...I trust you.

Daisy: Oh MAN I'm so hot the perspiration is forming clouds!

William: Daisy, I've never felt so connected to someone before!
Daisy: It's so sad you'll never know why!

William: Will you tell me if I give you a backrub?
Daisy: I won't tell you if you don't, that's for sure!

Daisy: Phew! That was great!
William: Good enough for some sweet sweet revelation action?
Daisy: Tell you what, I'll whisper it into Captain Sparkles.

William: My woman, the dick whisperer.

William: Speaking of your my-womanness...

William: Daisy White, you are the least trustworthy and most suspicious woman I know.

Daisy: I've worked really hard to make you see that.

Daisy: Before you open that, I should mention that I'm an expert carat-counter and I know your net worth to the ha'penny.

William: Will you do me the honour of becoming Mrs. Sharpe?
Daisy: I really feel like I've earned it.

Daisy: Ohmigosh! You did the math right!

Daisy: No more Whites.

A perfect world.

Daisy: I win.

William: We both win!
Daisy: Nope, just me.

Daisy: The rest of you are losers.

William: Welcome to the Sharpe family, Daisy.

Daisy: Thanks.

Daisy: It means a lot to me.

William: Why is your voice different?
Daisy: It's the heady rush of victory.

Yeah, you're not married yet.

Daisy: He won't leave me at the altar. Not when I've got a ring worth more than Paraguay on my hand.

William: It was a tough decision, selling Paraguay to get that ring.

Daisy: And yet he had no problem selling his soul by giving it to me.

Daisy: Assuming he and his penis don't have separate ones.

Anthony: Somebody spilled all the baby powder.

Victor: Who dat sweet ass?

Daisy: Ask again when you're older.

Irfan: Can... can I... come in?!
Anthony: I will shoot you.



William: At least you service flunkies get to suckle on my precious furnace teat once a day!
Anthony: I feel dirty now!

Daisy: I'm gonna feel dirty forever.

Daisy: Cue transition.


Victor: I am really impatient for puberty to kick in.

Victor: Welcome to the family, new mommy! Old mommy's gonna getcha.

Victor: In the ass.


Neila: Make him do that again tomorrow!
Daisy: Count on it!

Daisy: Off to save the world, Mr. Governor?
William: I'm out of the world-saving business now, honey. From now on it's strictly bribes and floozies.

Daisy: Yeah, you've got a whole lifetime of fun ahead of you now, Billy.

Next time: well, that depends. If this update is new, then you should be reading Chapter 187 next, because you've already read 186. If it's old, I've probably arranged them properly, so you should read 186 next!

And now I'm too tired to look up what happens in either of them.

So... bye?

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( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 9th, 2016 08:26 am (UTC)
I'm certain you're already aware of the problem. All the same, all of the "This image is currently awaiting Moderator approval" placeholders separated by witty captions do lend the chapter a certain postmodern performance art feel.

Edited at 2016-02-09 08:26 am (UTC)
Feb. 9th, 2016 08:12 pm (UTC)
My gut reaction to having my porn pics moderated by a porn host that I pay for is inexpressible in any sanitized form.
Feb. 10th, 2016 05:41 am (UTC)
Hopefully the new pics work.
Feb. 10th, 2016 03:42 am (UTC)
What a beautiful family tree! Mine are ugly scribbled things on notebook paper. And don't feature as many multiple marriages. Or kidnappings!

Gee, why does it feel like all your Sims are Romance Sims? (which they really should have named Woohoo Sims)

And now I see it too.

How did you get Neila to think of Andrew?? That was neato. The kid has some serious evil potential. You can see it in that not-so-innocent child face already...

The phonebooks open??? Who knew!

I wish he would bury Mel in his yard, then at least we might get to see her haunting his ass. I hope it's not another 100 chapters before she comes back. (this place is like a soap opera, right? The dead never stay dead?)

Yeah so I wonder when Lucas is coming back...

I will miss William's cool shades. His new look just isn't quite as sexy. He can't be nerd-sexy because he's WILLIAM.

It was kind of interesting imagining pics to go along with your pic-less captions up there, but methinks the moderator needs to get off his/her sweet ass and approve the shit already. It's not like you're posting child porn or something. Sheesh.

And you were right, you hopped back on the wagon right quick! Keep goin'!
Feb. 10th, 2016 04:30 am (UTC)
Once things get really nuts, the trees are gonna have to be really neat to compensate.

Because adultery is awesome? In fiction.

My new catch phrase! From like a hundred chapters ago.

That's a phonebook hack. It lets Sims look up people they don't know in the phonebook like a REAL PERSON. That's why she got a bubble of Andrew, she just learned he existed.

Very few dead stay dead. I would go so far as to say that there is no dead character of any import who won't be seen again at this point. After the grand generation-ending melee hundreds of chapters from now, however, death will be a little more permanent. But I will be dead long before then.

Fuck Lucas.

Bill will be rocking the silver fox look soon anyway.

Pics are loading for me. If you can't see them you might need to dump some cookies.

I'm up to 193 right now.
Feb. 10th, 2016 04:47 am (UTC)
Oh that's a cool trick with the phonebook. If I want two Sims to meet I have to hope one walks by the other's house or go to community lots to increase the chances.

I dumped my cookies and still can't see them. Bah. Tried it on google chrome and IE. I suppose I'll survive.

If you post them all now would you sit back on your laurels or are you trying to catch up to your future self by working like a maniac? I vow I shall never get so many months behind again! A week or so is acceptable. Not a month. For shame.
Feb. 10th, 2016 05:27 am (UTC)
Yeah, I'm well past relying on the game to do anything right. I'm like a married woman.

Hm. I'll redo the pics and see if that works.

I don't know about laurels. I just finished 193 and I'm about to start 194, but the part I'm really looking forward to is somewhere around FIVE FUCKING HUNDRED. So yeah. I would like to actually get there some day because it's so incredibly satisfying.

Feb. 10th, 2016 05:40 am (UTC)
Should be fixed now.
Feb. 11th, 2016 04:36 am (UTC)
Yay I can see Captain Sparkles now! And you have another chapter up for some fun bedtime reading! *scampers*
Feb. 12th, 2016 03:35 pm (UTC)
I read this while the porn host had ironically censored all the sex and weird loghorreic foreplay you like so much for some reason, and it was glorious :D
Feb. 12th, 2016 07:13 pm (UTC)
Well hey, if you're happier without all the sex and nudity, your happiness is going to go down with each passing update :P

I'm thinking of changing my journal description to "a logorrheic neighbourhood story in The Sims 2" now, thanks to you.
Feb. 12th, 2016 08:54 pm (UTC)
It's all right, I don't mind it, I just don't see the point. We can all be happy, I don't mean to reform your ongoing loghorreic neighbourhood, perish the thought!
Mar. 21st, 2017 01:10 pm (UTC)
William: MAN, you've got muscles! What's your routine?
Daisy: It's all in the wrist.

She flexes it by hiding random pics!
Mar. 21st, 2017 06:03 pm (UTC)
Definitely not my fault.
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )