Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates whenever I damn well please!
If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!
Pine Valley: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25A, 25B, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
Clover County: 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118 119, 120. 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155, 156, 157, 158, 159, 160, 161, 162, 163, 164, 165, 166, 167, 168, 169, 170, 171, 172, 173, 174, 175, 176, 177, 178, 179, 180, 181, 182, 183, 184, 186, 185, 187, 188, 189, 190, 191, 192, 193, 194, 195.
Interludes: 1, 2, 3. April Fools' Day: 2014, 2014 Comparison, 2015.
Last one for the day.
Unless it's not.
This journal last updated... Today! Six fucking times. Go read 190-195 first.
I was actually taking this seriously.
Alvin: Really?! You'd do that for me?!?!
William: Dangerous and illegal, it's my kind of thing!
Alvin: I'm sending you an imaginary blowjob.
Alvin: I HATE GREY WORMS IN MY CHOCOLATE BARS
Stephen: I don't get it. Why are you letting me go?
William: Not much on euphemisms, are you?
William: What's with the double bubble?
Kelsey: Mom says to always use protection around you.
Ivy: Hi Mr. Sharpe!
William: You'd better scrub that bubble with lye before you eat.
William: Alvin! Still with the yellow belly shirt.
Alvin: William! Undercover as some asshole, I see!
Alvin: Mmm, so gay.
Iris: WHY SO GAY
Stephen: Yeah, um... hi. I guess I'm supposed to apologize? For getting caught breaking into your house? I really didn't mean to get caught.
William: Be on the lookout Al, there's an escaped convict running loose and I think he might be armed.
William: Okay, that's enough homo for ever.
Stephen: What was that about a convict?
William: I need you to prove that our first famous serial killer was framed, even if she wasn't.
Alvin: And when is this assignment due?
Stephen: So, can I just... walk in here and take stuff? Now?
Iris: You can secrete your agent here any time, Bill.
Alvin: En garde, Agent of Entropy!
Stephen: I don't even have a WHY DO I HAVE A SWORD
Iris: Now, you boys place nice.
Our duelists are clearly channeling the dork side of the force.
Stephen: WELL EXCUSE ME IF I DIDN'T EXPECT THIS
Alvin: And I'm just taking some practice swings. I want to get some distance when I cut his head off!
Alvin: First I think I'll get rid of this dangly thing on the side, though.
Stephen: Mwahaha! Little do you know, fool, that I have two arms!
Stephen: And now, BAM! No belt loop on that side! Won't you look silly.
Alvin: I've killed you! From a certain point of view.
Stephen: For ENTROPY! I guess.
Alvin: ...I'll cut you if you cut me.
Stephen: That's the idea, yeah.
Alvin: I'mma cut your armpit stank off, 'cuz it is powerful grody.
Alvin: Man, my boss is so awesome! He's counting this as a half-shift.
Stephen: You'll never get away with this, copper!
Alvin: Oh! No. I'm a secret agent. We pretty much get away with anything.
Alvin: Assuming we're able to commit anything.
Iris: So, this is today, huh?
Stephen: Did you know your oven is ethereal?
Alvin: I'm more of a microwave guy.
Alvin: Because SCIENCE.
Stephen: Is BORING.
Alvin: I'M GOING TO ENJOY THIS
Alvin: Who wants ham hocks?!
Alvin: Hey, whoah. Lose gracefully, would you?!
Alvin: Fine, I'm taking your toque scalp.
Stephen: I... got... you.
Alvin: Ah, but that's where you're wrong! These jeans are relaxed fit.
Alvin: Also I'm too dumb to feel pain.
Stephen: I just realized how many arteries are in the upper leg.
Alvin: Luckily I moved all of mine to the torso, so I could fit some heat sinks down there.
Stephen: I... am NOT... dying to a Battletech reference!
Alvin: BATTLETECH QUOTE! I don't know any.
We'll fix it in post.
Alvin: YESSSS! I knew this unabsorbent chalky carpet was a good idea!
Alvin: It's okay honey, you can clean up after the baby is born.
The Grim Reaper: BEEP BEEP
Iris: Hahaha! Look at your stupid face!
Iris: Stupid dead face.
Iris: So dead!
Alvin: Okay, alright, simmer down.
Alvin: Or at least put that energy to good use.
Alvin: 'cuz it can only change its form, not be destroyed.
Iris: Just like your bullshit science obsession!
Alvin: IT'S A CAPITAL "S"
Alvin: AND DON'T FUCK WITH IT TODAY
Alvin: I'M STILL MAD CAN WE DO-OVER?
Alvin: AND OVER AND OVER AND
Alvin: Honey I got us a new centrepiece.
Iris: Oh, come on. If you want me to eat half your dinner, fork it over like an adult!
Alvin: Gotta go! Free world depends on me.
Iris: With that kind of dependant, you must get mad tax refunds.
Iris: OH THANK GOD. Brief, bitter hours of freedom.
Kelsey: Your house is over there.
Angelica: I know. We were talking on the bus, so I got off with you.
Kelsey: Yes, but, see... this house is mine.
Angelica: So this is why nobody else gets to use any yellow.
Angelica: Da ba dee, da ba da.
Kelsey: Hi mom!
Iris: Hi, whatever we're calling you!
Ivy: Stupid burglar, dying before I got home.
Iris: You're right on time for your science lesson, though!
Ivy: NOT GRAVITY NOT GRAVITY
Ivy: ... you do realize that every time you swing me like this, you make accidental sex offenders out of anyone walking past?
Iris: It's only accidental on their part!
Angelica: My dad is really into fiddly science. He makes stuff. Like Frankensteins and broken marriages.
Kelsey: Could your dad make me a dad?!
Angelica: He can't even make me one.
Ivy: You know, our trust levels are way up there now that you didn't kill me.
Iris: You do know that I'm pregnant and gross, right?
Iris: And yet you think it's acceptable to walk past here looking like that?
Ivy: Anyway yeah, Iris says the stork brought Kelsey.
Angelica: Okay, but, see, that's just a metaphor.
Ivy: Then how come her only baby pic clearly shows her lying on the sidewalk?
Kelsey: Look, just... teach me half the alphabet, and I'll just wing the other half.
Iris: Make it a third and you're on.
Angelica: YES! I win! Now how cool would it be if you immediately got run over.
Angelica: No, I don't have many friends. Why do you ask?
Iris: I don't see why this is necessary.
Kelsey: It keeps grabbing the pen, it keeps yelling "NO DO IT LIKE THIS," and it gets to help from behind the door.
Angelica: Basically my whole family is falling apart.
Ivy: I don't like you enough to talk about that.
Angelica: That's what my family says, too.
Iris: NO. NO. FUCK.
Angelica: ...ouch. Dumped for homework. That's a new low, even for me.
Angelica: Or, by a different rubric, personal best!
Don't talk to that kid.
He's got an asian face, but his hair is red.
SOMETHING is fake there.
Spencer Ray: Hi! I'm Spencer Ray.
Ivy: You're a redheaded asian named "Spencer Ray."
Spencer: No! I'm a mad science project. If you squeeze my trigger, I shoot Spencers.
Ivy: I'm gonna think about snake lamps on a nightstand now.
Iris: What's this I hear about you kids and nonsensical dialogue?!
Ivy: Hey, it's not our fault. Our teachers are so pomo.
Kelsey: They're pomosexuals.
Iris: And that's why you're naked?
Alvin: SO YOU CAN STICK A SIGN ON MY BACK NO WAY
Kelsey: SOMEBODY BENT MY NIGHTLIGHT PRONGS
Kelsey: OH NO YOU SCARED CLOTHES ON ME
Prof. Johnson: 'CUZ I'M NOT THAT SORT OF PERVERT!
Iris: You're not this kind either, if you know what's fucking good for you.
This must be an X-Files episode.
Probably one of the bad ones.
Kelsey: FUCK YOU DEAD PEOPLE
Alvin: Are you teaching our kids lifestatism?!
Alvin: If you plasm any ecto, there's paper towels under the sink.
Prof. Johnson: You'll know where I plasmed when your baby looks inexplicably like me.
Ivy: Damn, she's asleep.
Iris: .oO(OH MY GOD THIS WORKS?!)
Ah, the top of the fridge.
Where literally anything goes to be forgotten.
Alvin: Iris! My science stick is extending!
Iris: That's why I stiffened your pajamas with starch.
Alvin: My squashed genitals are slow-clapping.
Ivy: At least that means you'll get the clap from them slower!
Kelsey: Mom! Wake up and explain that one to me.
Iris: Nah, I'll let you make your own mistakes.
Iris: Make sure you eat your sandpaper scrapings.
Ivy: See you at school, stupid!
Kelsey: We're catching the same bus, nimrod.
Ivy: Yeah, but I'm not sitting with you. Loser.
Alvin: She's learning.
Iris: God help us all.
Alvin: Don't invoke him, no good can come of it!
Right you are!
Next time: assorted Murphyness.