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Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!

If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!

Previous Updates
Pine Valley:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25A, 25B, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
Clover County: 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118 119, 120. 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155, 156, 157, 158, 159, 160, 161, 162, 163, 164, 165, 166, 167, 168, 169, 170, 171, 172, 173, 174, 175, 176, 177, 178, 179, 180, 181, 182, 183, 184, 186, 185, 187, 188, 189, 190, 191, 192, 193, 194, 195, 196, 197, 198.
Sharpesvale: 737.
Interludes: 1, 2, 3. April Fools' Day: 2014, 2014 Comparison, 2015.
Recaps: 1.

Intro text

(Oops, my template is showing.)

This journal last updated... like, a day ago!

Stephen: Ever know you're doing something wrong, but do it anyway 'cuz it feels so good?


Stephen: Alright guys, let's get those bridal pictures taken!

Stephen: Among other things I'll be taking.

Stephen: Yeah honey! You tell that invisible audience.

Tosha Go: Can I pretend you're my parents?

Stewart: Alright, Margaret. Did you bring the dress?
Margaret: What do you think is padding out my bra?

Margaret: This doorway is filthy.

Margaret: Oh! Speaking of filthy!

Stephen: You have no idea.

Stewart: And you'd better not be getting any ideas either.

Stephen: You wound me!
Stewart: No, but I will.

Stephen: Anyway, this commission is on the house.

Stephen: Say! You wouldn't be interested in posing for some photos, would you?
Sandy: Only if that's a thinly-veiled metaphor for sex!
Stephen: Shhh! Not in front of the client's husband!

Stewart: Oh god, you're rehearsing for an anti-abortion debate?

Stephen: Turn around. It's important that you be really relaxed for this.
Margaret: I don't see how turning around will help that.

Margaret: ...I am always willing to be proven wrong.

Margaret: Wow! Your hands are like magic!
Stephen: Every real artist is good with their hands.


Margaret: Now, I want this to be tasteful.
Stephen: Tasteful. Yes.
Margaret: But I want to look pretty.
Stephen: Pretty! Yes.
Margaret: And I want to know why I'm holding your hand suddenly.

Stephen: Whoops, that's me! Left the ol' animal magnetism on.

Stephen: What say we head inside and see what happens?
Margaret: Yes.
Stephen: In terms of photography, I mean.
Margaret: Yes. That too.

Stephen: Stewart happy hanging around here?
Margaret: Who cares?

Margaret: I certainly don't want him there. We're looking for a really intimate portrait.
Stephen: I can do intimate.

Margaret: I have no doubts.

Margaret: Alright, enough foreplay. Let's consummate this economic relationship!

Stephen: Would it ruin the mood if I admitted to locking myself out?

Xavier: Who you talkin' to, mom?
Ember: Imaginary people.
Stewart: You mean you're imagining talking to real people, right?
Ember: No. They might think they're real people, but they're only imagining it. And hey, speaking of aborti-


This is gonna objectify women enough without opening that up.

Stephen: If nightmares have taught me anything, it's that running fast is a good alternative to being stealthy!

Ember: Did you hear something right now?
Stewart: Maybe, but it was either running too fast or really stealthy.

Stephen: So I'm really glad we could make a date today. For your photos. A photo-date.

Margaret: Uh-huh.

Margaret: Don't call it a "date." I hate dates. They taste like shoe.

Margaret: I think. I've never had one. But that's how they look.

Margaret: But I've never seen one either.

Stephen: I see many things.
Margaret: Yeah, my dress does that.

Margaret: Think of it as a teaser trailer.

Margaret: 'cuz I aim to tease.

Margaret: So! Let's get it on! I mean, let's get it on! I mean let's get on with it?
Stephen: I don't think you do!

Margaret: I hope your camera can handle this much woman.
Stephen: Oh, I brought a wide lens.

Margaret: Good, we'll need some nice ass shots too.

Stephen: Was that a euphemism for-
Margaret: NO ANAL




Stephen: And it is one hot topic, let me tell you!

Xavier: And then my daddy and my mommy took a trip!
Stewart: I remember that! I think. He was cheating on my mom! Was I alive yet? I don't know!

See how cleverly I've learned to disguise my own forgetfulness?

Just pass your flaws on to your characters!

George R.R. Martin does.

Margaret: So, where did you go to photography college?
Stephen: Is that a real thing? I sure hope that's not a real thing.

Margaret: I thought you were qualified!
Stephen: I am! Nobody looks at women as much as I do!

Margaret: Fada soola gor!
Stephen: Don't make me do this.

Margaret: Fada soola bron!

Margaret: VADA
Stephen: STOP
Margaret: VABY
Margaret: OBA

Margaret: Vaba...

Margaret: Gonk...

Margaret: Gonk?

Stephen: GONK

Stephen: Voooooooo GERBITZ!

Margaret: ...!

Stewart: Hey, you went to MNU, didn't you? How does that cheer go?
Ember: I don't know, because I'm not a whore.

Stewart: ...Margaret knows it...

Margaret: Oh! Oh! Oh! OH!

Wren: It's like my own personal metronome!

Margaret: Wow, you guys have similar dicks!
Stephen: He's a dick off the ol' dickblock, that's for sure!

Stewart: Hey, you've got no metronome! How are you keeping time?
Wren: Keen, very keen hearing.

Stephen: Anyways, how are you guys?
Margaret: Pretty oof good!
Stephen: Spending enough time together?
Margaret: OHHHHH yeah, we definitely are.

Margaret: I think... mmm.
Stephen: What?
Margaret: What?
Stephen: You said "I think"?
Margaret: Oh! Right, yeah. I think him and me are forever.


Stephen: Yes. Joining.

Stephen: Joining is good.

Xavier: I hereby open this meeting of the Tipis by a Reflecting Pool Club!

Stephen: I hereby open these legs.

Wren: Aww, poor Stewart!
Stewart: Why? I'm fine!
Wren: Aww, he thinks he's fine!

Stewart: You're creepin' me out, kid.

Margaret: Wow, they even look the same!
Stephen: This topic isn't as awesome for me as it apparently is for you.

Margaret: Well, it's about to be all about you, so shut the fuck up.

Stewart: They sure are taking a long time.
Ember: That's my Stephen! Nothing but stamina, that one.

Stephen: If you're just gonna stare at it, I can snap you a pho-

Stephen: -ohOHOHOH

Wait a second.

This looks oddly familiar...



Stewart: GOD I love this cheer!

Ember: Wow, haha! Get out of my face.


Margaret: Ready for another round, tiger?
Stephen: Nah, we need to escalate this further. Maybe in your bed? Or, like, at some place that's really important to you both!
Margaret: You... have an adultery fetish?
Stephen: How did you think I've lasted so long around here?

Margaret: Heheh. "Long."
Stephen: Why thank you.

Stewart: Wow, I love these pictures dad took!

Stephen: Okay, sexiness filter off...
Margaret: What?
Stephen: Oh, you heard that? I just turned the sexiness filter off, so we wouldn't shatter the lens with too much sexy.

Stephen: Too far?
Margaret: Ohhh yeah.


Stephen: Here, have a sexy picture of yourself.
Margaret: Which I can't show to anyone.
Stephen: At least not one person, in particular, right.

Stephen: Whoa there. I was thinking we'd do missionary next.

Margaret: You make me feel special, Stephen.
Stephen: Hey, you're the one fucking around here!

Stephen: Please tell me this is still you fucking around.

Stephen: You're already engaged to my son, stupid!

Margaret: I know, that was stupid.

Stephen: I don't understand.

Stephen: But your hair tastes good.

Stephen: We meet at last, my muse.

Stephen: Well fuck it then, let's get hitched since we can't tell anyone anyhow.

Margaret: That's the sexiest vow ever.

I now pronounce you dumb and dumber.

Stephen: If I'm the dumb one, how come I've got the girl?

You're the dumber one, actually.

See? You've been struck dumber!

Stephen: More like I've struck paydirt!

Margaret: OH! Right! Your cat died.


Stephen: So hey, I have a wife.
Margaret: Will she care?
Stephen: What? No! I was just gonna propose a threesome is all.

Depending on who's in it, I think you have a deal!

Ember: Looks like they're pulling an all-nighter. Bye!
Stewart: An all-night wedding photography session.
Ember: Bye!

Stewart: Okay! Fuck you too!

Margaret: Fuck me three! For the third time. Fuck me again.

Stewart: Weird! Dad and Margaret have the same clothes.

Stewart: ...

Stewart: DAD

Stewart: I know you're in there, asshole! Come out with your clothes on!

Margaret: What if he kicks down the door?
Stephen: Then I buy a new door? What are you, twelve? Please don't be twelve.

Stewart: I won't have you manhandling my beautiful wife, dad! I'm the only man who gets to handle those handles! Love handles? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW


Margaret: Dammit Stu, you're spoiling the money shot!

Stewart: I'm not buying this.
Stephen: Of course not, I told you! It's free!

Margaret: What crawled up your ass and died, mister?
Stewart: LOVE.

Stewart: What an image.

Margaret: Hey, look...

Margaret: But I didn't do anything...
Stephen: And god knows she wanted to!

Margaret: Stop helping, Stephen.

Stewart: How could you do this to me?!
Stephen: Yeah, Margaret! Wait, what did you do to him?!

Margaret: Thanks for the close-up, Mr. DeMille.

Margaret: ...I haven't seen that movie.

Oh, it's from a movie? Neat.

Margaret: Okay, stop, you're making it weird.

Stewart: Look, I'm sorry, honey. I just got so jealous, thinking of-

Stewart: I can't believe I didn't trust you.
Margaret: Yeah, you're a real jerk aren't you.

Stewart: Is there anything I can do to make you forgive me?
Stephen: This is too fucked up, I'm going to bed.

Stewart: No, wait, dad, I owe you an apology too.
Stephen: Fuuuuuuuck.

Stewart: I know you could never do something like that to me.
Stephen: Umm.
Stewart: Because you know how it would tear me apart inside.
Stephen: Right.
Stewart: And you couldn't bear to put me through that.
Stephen: Uh-huh.

Stewart: Boy, I'm really glad we got that all out in the open.
Stephen: Yeah, that's what just happened alright.

Margaret: Good night, my shaggy darling!
Stephen: Sleep tight, my honey-haired dumpling!

Margaret: What?

Margaret: WHAT?

Stewart: You look really nice in that dress.
Margaret: Um.
Stewart: I can't wait to get married!
Margaret: Right.
Stewart: Because... we're... getting married, right?
Margaret: Uh-huh.

Margaret: Hey, I'm gonna grab the negatives. I'll see you at home!
Stewart: Sounds reasonable!

Stewart: I think?

Stewart: Whatever those are?


Margaret: Pump it like it owes you water!

Margaret: I don't even know what that means.

Stephen: It means I'm awesome in bed.

As opposed to awesome on bed.

God, I hope this doesn't turn into a series.

Margaret: We need to keep this a secret.
Stephen: Why? Even when he found out, he was too dumb to find out!

Margaret: Yeah, university really muddles your brain up.

Tell me about it.

Somebody's inspired!

Stephen: If by "inspired" you mean "aroused," then yes.

Stephen: Oh-oh-oh, those curves.

Stephen: Mmmmmm...

I'm... gonna leave you alone for a bit.

Ember: Is somebody being sexually weird without me?!

Ember: Tell me it was just a nightmare.

Ember: I wonder if you can have a marriage that's only open on one end...

Oh, yes, definitely.

Let's create a documentary trail for this affair, shall we.

Margaret: I'm taking this other document in return.

Margaret: And this one too.

Margaret: And hey, that's weird.

Margaret: And hey, free bugs.

Or, you know, the real thing is just outside...

Stephen: She's much more manageable this way.

Ember: All lawyers need a high Logic skill.

For creating airtight cases?

Ember: No, for picking only the winners.


Yeah, stand out there in the rain like a hobo, you hobo.

Yeah, you see how you hobo.

Yada yada yada are we done here yet?

She is, at least.


What are the odds?!

Margaret: How could I have known?!

I'm not sure this'll fix it, honey.

You're joking.

You are a joke.



Ember: Who touched nothing?!

Ember: NOBODY?!?!

I like how the final stage just looks like someone rubbed an eraser over a finished painting.

I like how Margaret is apparently a housepet now.

I like how Ember tortures housepets.

That's some awesome photorealism there, Stevie-boy.

Stephen: If it really was good, it would make you stop calling me that.

Yessiree, yet another Stevie wonder.


Margaret: Either way it comes off.
Xavier: What are you taking off?!


Ember: I do so enjoy our romantic lives together.

Stephen: I wonder if it would count as a threesome if I cloned her.

Margaret: Who wants cheesecake?!


Margaret: Who wants pregnancy?!


Next time: the big two oh oh.

Expect lots of oh-ohs.

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( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 9th, 2016 04:04 pm (UTC)
Teehee, nice metronome.

Any chapter which involves Stewie suffering is a good one. Too bad he's so fucked up that he goes into denial and starts apologizing to everyone (I think only the cheating Sim should be allowed to apologize... stupid game!). That kick was pretty amazing though, how did you do that?!

Can a Sim really be engaged to more than one person at a time? (with the right mod, I suppose?)

200! What wonders are in store for us!
Aug. 22nd, 2016 06:50 am (UTC)
I have various poseboxes. I was just starting to learn how to use them for dramatic purposes around here. At this point, which you'll see just before the sun turns into a lump of coal, I'm a goddamn expert.

Whenever this happens (and it'll happen a lot) I disengage from the first Sim, engage with the second one, and then re-engage the first. William in particular... oh, you'll see. Some day.

The plot resumes, after ending some time in the 40s :P
Jun. 30th, 2016 04:47 pm (UTC)
Well that was dramatic!
Aug. 22nd, 2016 06:47 am (UTC)
Drama drama drama drama drama chameleon.
Mar. 22nd, 2017 02:12 am (UTC)
Stewart: Hey, you went to MNU, didn't you? How does that cheer go?

"It starts off, 'httphttp…'"

Ember: Who touched nothing?!

The extra http did it!
Mar. 26th, 2017 09:57 pm (UTC)
I can't believe how many of those there are.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )