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Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!



If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!


The last notable hundred this side of five.






Pregnancy!

It's body horror.



Daisy: And that's before you take the incest into account!



Andrea: What?



William: Yeah! What?

Don't trouble your cute little head about it.



WEDNESDAY: SUCH A CUTE LITTLE HEAD



Daisy: Whoah boy, you don't need to go THAT deep! I'm already pregnant!



Daisy: ...it was just a JOKE!



Daisy: And the joke's on him.



Andrea: Bye, robot overlord!
Neila: I for one do not welcome her.



WEDNESDAY: Well you'd better start soon, 'cuz the ejector seats are solidly on my side.
Nathaniel: Meaning they'd eject y...
WEDNESDAY: MEANING SHUT UP



I see you're well-pleased with yourself.

Daisy: "Unexpected pregnancy" is a hard trick to top, so yeah, I am.



William: I don't like it when she's this cheerful.



Daisy: How come your name is Benson but you're white?
Anthony: I hear those two things don't really affect each other.



William: Well we wouldn't have hired you if your name was, like, "Huckleberry Kennedy" or something. Butlers need a very specific kind of white person name.



William: Did I agree to let her soak up all our sun?



Daisy: You'll always be black to me, Benson.
Anthony: Yes miss Daisy.



Daisy: Now shoot, asshole. I ain't payin' you to look pretty.



Daisy: 'cuz I wouldn't.



Daisy: Pretty pale, maybe.



William: Off to Spooktown!

WILLIAM!



Daisy: Ooh, I need to go check out Spooktown myself soon.

WHAT WHAT WHAT



Oh.

Those spooks.



Gina! You are not a spook!

You are a Gina.

A 'gina?



YOU ARE NOT EVEN A 'GINA!



THE SCIA IS NOT A MALL



And even if it was, some of you wouldn't get in.



William: Mornin' Cheryl.
Cheryl: Mornin' Chief!
William: Any randos in there today?
Cheryl: There were, but the Maker forced errors on them and they poofed.

Damn right I did.



William: Hey, did we check you out on that firearm yet?
Cheryl: Nope! I'm still too young!
William: Right, right.



William: You know, there's probably a better spot for all these.



William: Pissing away your tax dollars!



Kennedy: Let me in! They're pissing away our tax dollars!



Kennedy: Are you mad at the SCIA too?
Rodney: No, I heard this was a mall.



Sandy: You can't go in there.
Stewart: That's not true at all.



Stewart: See?



OHFORFUCKS



William: Forty civvies downstairs, no agents upstairs, best secret agency ever.



I DRAW THE LINE AT ZOMBIES



Sandy: And I draw lines of zombie blood!



Kendal: THAT CANNOT... BE MY PRE-MORTEM... ONE LINER!



I hate to break it to you all, but this is what real secret agents do all day.



And this is not what real security guards get up to.



William: Could you ask Chief Cwik to hurry her saucy buns on over?



William: We should never have gone in the Yellow Pages.



Wow, those are some saucy buns!

I can tell even from this angle.



Nerissa Cwik: I'm a high-ranking law enforcement official.

In a fancy ballroom dress.

Nerissa: IT'S LEGAL



Nerissa: All this, though, I dunno.



Chloe: How come she gets to go in?
Sandy: Because she's a cop?
Chloe: DOUBLE STANDARD



Nerissa: These had better just be show models.



Cheryl: I will shoot you, sir.
Alvin: Let me IN! I'm a SCIENTIST!
Cheryl: I CAN ONLY LET YOU IN IF YOU'RE A SECRET AGENT, SIR!



Alvin: Oh yeah! Right. I'm that too.



Nerissa: Hiding in the corner with your diary, wussykins?
William: This is how all secret agent paperwork must be done.



Nerissa: Oh man, check out the SexSpook of Spookytown!



William: ...right.



Alvin: Some day I fully intend to learn what this thing does.



Nerissa: That face, what for.
William: YOU CAN'T TRUST ROBOTS
Nerissa: Well duh.



William: So yeah, how mad would you be if I let a criminal go.



Nerissa: If this is another zombie thing I swear to GOD



William: It's a serial killer thing.
Nerissa: YEAH THAT'S BETTER



Nerissa: Actually wait, I probably need to hear this.



Nerissa: Oh Christ, it's gonna be one of these stories is it.



William: Have I ever told you how hot you are?
Nerissa: Only over the phone! But, like, a lot of times over the phone.



William: So about a million years ago...
Nerissa: Vicki Sharpe. You found Vicki Sharpe and you let her go.



William: YOU'RE NOT PLAYING BY THE RULES



Nerissa: Vicki Sharpe is the only thing that happened around here a long time ago.
William: Sure, but guessing is only appropriate when I start out with "Guess what?"



Alvin: Guess what?
William: I don't want to.



William: Alvin! My... fourth-best agent!
Alvin: Still waiting to find out who the fifth one is!



Nerissa: I'm guessing you only have four agents.
William: And the other ones don't have any freaky greeting rituals, yeah.



Alvin: Freaking out raises your serotonin levels! I'm helping.



Nerissa: I'm starting to sympathize with the serial killers.



William: Alvin! My only agent without a current assignment!
Alvin: I hope my tax money isn't funding me! Hahahaha!



William: Seriously though, log into the assignment system once in a while.
Alvin: If this is another computer thing, I have bad news for you.



William: Go down to the archive and research mind control objects for me.
Alvin: If I learn computers will you promise not to mind control me?



William: No.



William: But hey, with these pheremones, who needs mind control?



William: I've got genital control.
Nerissa: And I'm sure your dry-cleaner thanks you for it.



William: Wanna piss him off instead?



Cheryl: NONE OF YOU ARE SPOOKS



Sandy: Some of them are creeps, at least.



Nerissa: Stop changing the subject.
William: But I was gonna change it to my favourite subject.



William: One step away from sexual harassment!



Nerissa: Baby, step my way.



Venkat: We could BOMB our way in.
Cheryl: Pretty sure I get to shoot you now.



William: Now, if I ask really nicely will you let me bring Vick in quietly?
Nerissa: In exchange for you putting Captain Sparkles in loudly, I take it?



Alvin: Oh my gosh! OH MY GOSH!



Alvin: There's WORDS in this thing!



Cory: Five bucks says Alvin's computer's still off.
Jane: Ten bucks says he's late.
Theresa: Any takers on whether his heart just suddenly stopped from low brain activity?



Jane: Man, nobody was in on this pool.



Nerissa: You always let your subordinates see you screwing around?
William: Only when it produces good blackmail material!



Jane: Pocketcam to USB, aaaaaaand it's my desktop wallpaper.



Theresa: Ugh. For once I'm happy my chair faces dipshit's.



'sup, dipshit?

Alvin: I forget?



'sup, dipdick?

William: About to get on it!



Alvin: Or in it.
Nerissa: Or both.



William: So, do we have an understanding?
Nerissa: You're trading sex for the soft treatment.
William: Yeah! Treat her soft, and I'll treat you hard.



Alvin: So hey I'm in your office now.
William: That's certainly a thing.



Alvin: Psst psst psst.
William: Huh? All I got was "Psst psst psst."



Alvin: Hahaha good joke!
William: Hahaha what?



Alvin: So yeah, mind control axes.
William: Really.



William: Wait, really?
Alvin: Apparently.
William: Mind control axes?!



William: Okay, wow. So yeah. It's possible that the serial killer was being controlled by her own axe.



William: Now I know that sounds silly...
Nerissa: It sounds bullshit.



William: I'm willing to stake my reputation on it. By which I mean my professional reputation, not my sexual one.



Nerissa: Well duh, nothing could be that important.



William: So will you let me bring her in?
Nerissa: What happens if I say no?
William: You saw those guns on the way in, right?



Nerissa: Well, I'm sold.



Theresa: Where were you this morning?
Alvin: Reading the wordpapers about crazyaxes.
Theresa: I want my own desk.



Nerissa: Seriously? It can stretch that far?!



Nerissa: Those must be HULK pants!



Nerissa: Oh, wow! It's so full of mega-atoms that I can't even get near it!



Nerissa: I have to collapse the atomic bonds in my face just to blow you!



If Alvin could hear these bad science jokes, he'd gag.

William: Weird, she's gagging too!



William: Sometimes I think I'd like to choke someone on my sexwizard staff, just to get it registered as a deadly weapon.



Nerissa: SEXWIZARD STAFF



PLUUUUUGH

Sorry, mouthful of warm Coke.

BLECCHH

Just saw the blowjob kiss.



William: Hahaha it's in my mouth now gross.
Nerissa: Join the club!



William: Mornin' glory!
Cory: It's Cory.
William: Oh, hi Cory, didn't see you there.



William: Hi Jane!
Cory: They're close.



Nerissa: My, Agent Huffman, what a strong secret handshake you have!



Jane: Reporting for duty, o chief of my heart!



Theresa: She's disgusting. You're disgusting.
William: Good morning, Theresa.



Jane: Hello there, Chief!
Nerissa: Don't talk to me.



YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT

I THINK



William: Thanks for taking care of that archival work for me, Vinny.
Alvin: Thanks for giving me a cool nickname, Chief!



William: Thanks for your awkward boner on my crotch, Vinny.
Alvin: Sorry about that, Chief.



SHE IS NOT



Brittany: Somebody get fatso a chair!
Ally: I would love a chair right now.



William: Thanks team, see you tomorrow!
Nerissa: Aww, I wish I was on a team.



Cory: I hate right-angled papers!



William: Bye folks, thanks for your interest! Ya weirdoes.



Ian: I'm not a weirdo. Are you?
Brittany: Depends on how you feel about lesbians, I guess.



William: I feel good. In a special way.



William: I HATE 'BOTS AND IT'S A SUNNY DAY



Goodbye, sunshine.



Nerissa: HE'S AT LEAST NINE INCHES
Theresa: GET OUT SO I CAN LEAVE I DON'T WANNA HEAR THIS



Jane: Chief MONIF, secret agent queen! I like it.



Meanwhile, like a hundred pics ago...



Grant: Wow! A solar-powered portable vagina!



Okay you poseurs, that's enough.



Daisy: Sudden, gear-grinding transition!



WEDNESDAY: Don't mind if I do!



WEDNESDAY: I'm gonna jet before Mr. Angrypenis gets down the stairs.



Daisy: What did you do to make his penis angry?
WEDNESDAY: Stuck it in my robogina.



Anthony: Okay we need SOME continuity here



WEDNESDAY: THIS IS THE WORST MODERNIST ART PIECE EVER



Okay, seriously, what the fuck is going on today?

Daisy: CAKE IS GOING ON



I forget who this was.

The Doom of the Unknown Snowman?



WEDNESDAY: It's random day! Do whatever the fuck you want.



Daisy: I'm in!



Daisy: Or, rather, I'm in now.



Daisy: Welcome to my awesome murder dungeon.



Daisy: Do you like the paint? I picked it myself!



Daisy: I picked these myself, too.



Neila: I got my parole report today.



Neila: How long must I toil in this prison?

Until you graduate to a new one.



Victor: How come I always get less than her?

Math.

Victor: I'm great at math!

No, I mean, your instructor does math. You're twins, and she's a girl, and you're a dude, so your grade is just .75 of hers.

It's a surprisingly accurate method.



Andrea: Mine just says "Who are you?" as usual.



This is not your home.

Angelica: So it has that going for it.



Neila: And then I got the magnetic train from Saffron to Goldenrod working again.
Andrea: Wow, you're only two thirds through SoulSilver? You know Sun and Moon come out this year, right?



Neila: ...we're making Pokémon jokes now.

Obscure Pokémon jokes!

I'm branching out to new audiences.

Badly.



Angelica: Alright, let's see if we can't figure out why you have the report card of a three-year-old. What's the last thing you remember learning?



Victor: I'm pretty sure I learned how to walk at some point.



Angelica: Suddenly three years old seems a bit of a stretch.



Angelica: Do you go to the classroom with the desks or the one full of toys?



Neila: Yeah, my history teacher is definitely suitcased.



Andrea: Closeted, honey.



Angelica: How are you at ball kicking? I hear that's what boys do.
Victor: Depends on what you mean by "ball kicking."



Go Tosha Go Tosha Go Tosha GO!

...it's her name.



Neila: No, no, no. Ghostface isn't a racial slur for white people! There aren't any racial slurs for white people.



Neila: We have immunity in honour of our contributions to the industry.



Neila: I wish the Maker would stop using me as a vehicle for social commentary.

The hard life of a fictional character.



Andrea: Wait, you're fictional? Am I fictional?! Is that the long-forgotten reason for my perpetual awesomehood?



You're not fictional, you're virtual.

Neila: OHHHH I get it! Like how you're virtually a smarmy jackass but not fictionally.

Right! And hey, fuck you.



Andrea: I'm gonna go to my room, alone, to reduce his opportunities for puppet posturing.



i herd you liek yelo



And Neila stomps on the ghosts of William and Cameron having sex.



Andrea: I WASN'T STEALING THIS



Andrea: You'd better back me up on this one, chicken shit.



William: I do not feel right.

Of course you don't! You're a corrupt public official.



William: I'm feeling... more corrupt than usual. But in a good way!



William: Oh darn.



William: What.



You'll make a lovely bank manager.



William: Even the confetti was taken aback.



William: So yeah! All of this has to go.



Andrea: I smell boys.



William: What are you young whippersnappers up to OH MY DEAR GOD



William: FUCK FUCK FUCK I'm still young I'm still young



William: Oh god, I feel motivated to scan our family photos all of a sudden!



Daisy: Please tell me you're some previously-unmentioned uncle.



William: You're looking at the new me, baby!
Daisy: The new you looks really old.



Victor: Where did that manly youth go?



Daisy: Nobody tell him how hot he still is.



Andrea: See? This is the precise position where proximity becomes weird.



Andrea: I SMELL BOYS
Angelica: Could be me, I need to shower.



Anthony Benson, Scuba Butler.

You may address him as Scubabutt.



Neila: Hey, who's the silver fox?
William: Whatever your allowance was, let's double it.



Daisy: He shouldn't be so free with my baby's inheritance.



William: GUESS WHAT I GOT OLD!



Daisy: Now that he's old and I'm fat, we're getting unphotogenically married.



William: Oh, don't bring anything! Except gifts. Bring gifts.



Nerissa: Oh good, Public Enemy Number One is here.
Vicki: You seriously haven't found someone worse in all these years?



William: I'M NOT EVEN MAD
Daisy: I'm getting there.



Alvin: What, no facial recognition lock? No AI butler?



Iris: Be kind to them, Alvin. They're trapped in the present.



Uma: MUST BE NICE.

Holy shit. How old are you?

Uma: SEVENTY-TWO.



William: So she is, or she isn't legal?

I'm not sure how townie law works.



William: You're looking ravishing, Iris!
Iris: In case you haven't noticed, I've already been ravished.



William: Thanks for coming, Alvin.
Alvin: That's what she said!
William: Wow! Is that normally a problem for you, or something?



Alvin: I don't get it.



William: Uma! It's been too long.
Uma: AS IS READILY APPARENT



Uma: Please move me in so I can age.



Neila: INAPPROPRIATELY-CLOTHED MISSILE INCOMING!



William: Not a bad turnout.
Daisy: I just wish my family could be here.
William: You mean my family, right? Because I thought you only had your mom and your sister.
Daisy: Right! I keep forgetting that my family and yours are supposed to be separate things.



Alvin: Look at me so I know whose kid you are.



William: So yeah, when's Poppy coming?
Daisy: She's not. Got a lot of good muffs to dive, I guess.



Daisy: Okay, so here's my vow: I vow to advance the interests of our family, as I deem them.



Daisy: Using whatever force is necessary.



William: And I vow to figure out what that cryptic statement means.



Do you, William, take *mumble* to be your lawfully wedded wife?

William: Not sure why you mumbled her name, but sure!

And you, *mumble*?

Daisy: Assuming that's me, then yeah.



WEDNESDAY: OH GOD HELP



I now pronoun you he and her.



Brandi: YOU MISSED THE OBJECTIONS PART

No, you did.



You may now ew. Ew this is nasty.



Alvin: She's happy.
Neila: And so am I! Totally needed a new mom! Totally not resentful.



Victor: At last, a mom I can find hot!
WEDNESDAY: I'M AN ABOMINATION



Daisy: In other news, I win.
William: Okay? Cool?



Daisy: As cool as they come.



WILL YOU STOP IT IF I DELETE HER



Iris: TWO PREGNANT WOMEN AND NO FUCKING FOOD!



William: There's usually some pigeons on the roof, you can borrow my rifle if you like.



Iris: Please promise you'll take care of my baby.
William: Like, the one you're carrying? No can do.



William: If you mean Daisy, though, hey! What's in it for me.



William: A COMPELLING ARGUMENT



William: Hello mellow yellow, have a thirteen skellingtons!
Iris: Might have gone overboard on the voltage.



William: Sure, socialize up my party, bitch. That's such a bitch thing to do.



WEDNESDAY: Hey William, Uma was just telling me that-
William: AAAAND offline.



Uma: I wish you could do that to real people.



William: Let's go inside.
Uma: Yeah, it's already snowing so hard your hair is white!



William: What Daisy and I just did, over there? That was definitely not a monogamy pledge.
Uma: Understood!



William: Hahaha cheating!
Uma: And in record time!



Uma: So, are we just...?
William: Pigeons can have her.



William: So really though, how old are you.
Uma: Seventy-two!
William: WHAT?! You mean... fuck, you're too old for me!



Alvin: That made you sound like a pedophile.
William: Then I'll thank you not to repeat it to anyone.



William: Oh, hi Kenya. How's Barack doing?



William: Very funny, Kenya! I'm stuck under your stairs, too! Bye.



Kenya: Rackinfrackin



Add it to the glitch list.



William: You're who?
Valerie Enriquez: I'm Vicki's long-lost sister! So long-lost even she doesn't remember me!



William: I'm gonna hang up now.



William: Well huh! There actually is a Valerie Enriquez in the phone book.

You can tell her that her sister is alive again!

William: I can sex Vicki's sister!



William: These sexings are beginning to pile up. And not in the sexy sense.



William: Hi! My sexy sense compelled me to call you back.



William: Blah blah blah, don't care don't care. I didn't call so you could blather on.



William: So you're a secret twin sister? That doesn't sound suspicious or anything.



Daisy: Oh good, the baby has a sense of occasion.



Daisy: WHY WOULD I DO THIS TWICE



Daisy: OH! Alright! False alarm! Awesome, I really wanted another day of this.



William: Well you see, Vicki is alive, but I'm gonna have to arrest her. Yeah. For the murders. Yeah. Works that way. Mhmm.



William: Hey, while she's on trial, you can take care of her kids! I'm sure she'd sleep a lot better knowing her secret twin she's never met is handling things.



William: Yeah, no. Secret family doesn't get paid for favours.



William: Aw, come on! I'll let you have sex with me! That's worth at least five years of your life!



William: Yeah, my penis is like a whole other person.



William: Tonight is no good, I have a septuagenarian teenager to bone.



William: Look, it's getting increasingly hard to write dialogue for this conversation, okay, so just say yes already.



William: NO I WILL NOT PROMISE YOU CAN USE HER TOOTHBRUSH!



William: What kind of sick fucking question was that.



Uma: Guess these are all the balls I'm getting tonight.



William: I've got two more for your pocket, darlin'.



She's-

William: -over THERE, I KNOW, this is how pathing works unfortunately.



William: You look very... nice.
Uma: "Nice"? That's it?
William: YOU LOOK LIKE A NICE TEENAGER WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME



Uma: Well eat my hand and call me Shirley!



William: Have you been drinking? Can you drink?



That's a lovely "Thanks for Letting Me Blow You" piano, Nerissa.



William: You were one of the first girls I fell in love with, Uma.
Uma: And apparently one of the last ones on your call-back list.
William: IT'S A LONG LIST



Uma: You've gotten... bigger since we last dated.
William: Honey you ain't got no idea.



Uma: So give me one already.



Is that one of your victims or one of his? I've long since lost track.



Uma: Meanwhile I am on track!
William: Captain Sparkles is not a track.



William: He's a captain.



Uma: I've been waiting decades for this.
William: Then your mind is definitely fucked up by now.



William: And I do love me some crazy chicks.



William: Really just chicks in general.



How about dead chicks?

Brandi: Yeah, how 'bout?



William: So, was it worth the wait?
Uma: No!
William: What?
Uma: Decades, dude! NOTHING IS WORTH DECADES



Uma: It's still pretty much the best, don't get me wrong.



William: I kept expecting to see the tip come out of your mouth.



Uma: YEAH PRETTY FILLING



Hey, wow! You look like a person now!

Uma: Racist.



The Scubabutt is starting to creep me out a little.



Hahaha, yeah!

Rust, you bronze boring bitch.



Uma: Oh, William! You're a pretty close approximation of hot, for an old guy!



Uma: We could start a garden for these!

Or pile them on top of his funereal ziggurat, once one of his girlfriends murders him.



Uma: "Funereal ziggurat"?

He's too good to just bury.



NO



Uma: Did you delete the impossible zombie?

That sounds like a metaphor for defecation, somehow.



Veronica Wilsonoff: Lookin' good, Mrs. Whoever You're With Now!



Uma: See? I'm on this corner of the counter now!
Brady: EXPLAIN YOUR MAGIC



Nothing feels as classy as eating something the moment you buy it.



Uma: At least he's not stuck in a tracksuit from the last millennium.



Ian: She's at least hot enough to make me regret my cookie scarfing.



Ian: You guys can handle this, right?
Asia: No?



Ian: Congratulations on becoming a real person!
Uma: Shh! Not in front of the drones!



Uma: Curse you, daylight, and your revelatory nature.



Ian: At least I got cookies.



Uma: Hi! I have to greet you before checking you out, apparently.



Uma: But hey, good news!



Not good enough?

Uma: I've been sexually mature for a generation. I ain't settlin' for good.



William: A new family member for Chapter 200!

Yay, some grotty old townie.

William: Hey, we need more expendables 'round here!



William: Hi, Brandi? Hey! You're the SCIA Chief now.



William: I'm retiring to be Governor. Mail any kickbacks to my home address.



William: Oh, you should see it! I've got my own scandalously young mistress and everything.



William: Life is good on top! And on bottom. And behind, et cetera.



William: NO MORE SHALL I TOIL IN THIS PRISON



Uma: Is that the sexy sheen of politics I see on you?



William: I approve of the new ass you bought!



William: Nothing keeps a man young like young women.

She's older than you.

William: I have a feeling I'll need to repeat that a lot in the coming days.



Victor: Hey dad, what's up with High School Confidential over there?



Daisy: What's up indeed.



Victor: If you bought me a girlfriend, you got the age a bit wonky.



mor yelo



Felicia: YELLOW FUCK YEAH!



Felicia: HAVE THIS YELLOW THING



William: It's a birthday and wedding present in one!



William: Oh, good! I own a dude now. Not at all awkward.



William: Gee I wonder what I should MONEY GIVE ME MONEY



William: Ah, lucre! It's even filthy!



William: So if you grant me two more wishes, you go free?
Genie: That's the idea!



William: Well fuck that.



William: It's not his birthday.



William: Hey buddy! Stay out of the closet, okay?
Victor: I'm not gay, dad! Geeze.



Victor: OH THIS CLOSET



William: DAMMIT he's definitely my son.



Victor: Oh wow, a glitter pump! Chicks dig glitter.



William: DON'T YOU TALK TO MY KEPT ARAB



Genie: I hear and obey the master of the lamp. Two wishes remain.
William: Hey, put your glasses on, dude! Real master at six o'clock!



Victor: Gee! What should I ask for?
William: NOTHING



William: I forbid you to utter a single wish!
Victor: Hey man, can you read minds?
Genie: Duh.



William: I FORBID YOU TO THINK



Genie: Your wish is my command, master.
William: IT ONLY SAYS "MASTER" ON HIS MAIL BECAUSE HE'S YOUNG



Victor: Whew, my wish is smelly! Drink this.



Melanie: Damn RIGHT I will!



William: NUKE IT FROM ORBIT



Melanie: You'd better nuke it twice, just to be sure.



William: How DARE you! I got you a perfectly-good non-murderous mom-
Daisy: Well.
William: -and you have to go and resurrect the Zombie Queen? I mean geez, she's just your mom!



William: It's not like she's your dad or anything. Wait, well what?



Genie: Your wish is my command!
Melanie: It's good to hear that again!



Melanie: Alright, resurrect me if I disintegrate.
Lora: I hear and obey the master of the lamp!



Lora: This is racist against purple people.



Melanie: Mmm! Pink watermelon! My favourite flavour.
Lora: OH NO I HATE PINK WATERMELON



Lora: HATE IT TO DEAAAAAATH



Andrea: So are we just inviting any old garbage to live here now?
Anthony: Can I have a room to store my scuba gear in?



Melanie: NOOOO TINY ARMY



Melanie: You can't start an apocalypse without any zombies!



William: No, but you can definitely start a trial.



Melanie: So hey, the door's locked.
The Grim Reaper: MAN, YOU GIVE UP EASY. I'M SORRY I EVER JOINED YOUR MOHAWK CLUB.



Melanie: THAT'S NOT NICE



Andrea: I'm eating hers.



Uma: Why does it feel like I picked a dangerous time to move in here?

Because there's no other kind.



Uma: EYEUCH! Seventy-two years and no tooth brushing.



Victor: Maybe I should be in prison.



Anthony: Keep eating your fat food, fatty face.



Daisy: I've cleared a landing zone!



WHUMP

Daisy: You missed!



Daisy: Let me show you a thing or two about flight.



Oh, look. You've built a basement death shrine.



Daisy: And with lots of room to spare.


Alright, now for the traditional giving of gifts.

I wanted to do something special this time, 'cuz the images I usually make for these occasions are really only interesting to me.

With that in mind, have ten of my best characters!


(Click for full-size version)


This package contains the following Sims:

1. William Stephen Sharpe



The man, the mystery, the massive penis!

2. Daisy Elvira White (Cecilia Matilda Phelps)



The axes of evil!

3. Andrew Neil Murphy



The dull protagonist!

4. Abigail Harriet Young



Putting an extra couple mads in "mad scientist"!

5. Melanie Morrigan Lillard



The Zombie Queen her royal self!

6. Vicki Brianna Enriquez



A serial killer before it was cool!

7. Cameron Desdemona Price



The forbidden Knowledge Sim!

8. Jerome Meredith Newcastle



The polar inverse of William!

9. Lucas Fabio Perez



The most offensive, yet vague, ethnic stereotype in history!

10. Sullivan Cadwallader Kearney



Sullivan: DON'T YOU FUCKING DEFINE ME

The first seven are main characters. The remaining three are popular ones, although honestly I have no idea why in the cases of #8 and #9.

This is not your usual Sim download. This is something special.

The package file you're downloading does not contain Body Shop files that will allow you to recreate my main characters. It contains the actual, honest-to-goodness character files themselves. Think of it as the difference between a photograph and a flesh-and-blood person.

These ten Sims will appear in your game just as they were at the end of Chapter 192. I have altered them superficially to match their best-known appearances.

Because of the way the game works, it is difficult to transfer characters between neighbourhoods without creating junk data.

These character files should be perfectly safe to install (but do a backup anyway!)

Read on if you care why I would even need to state that. Boring technical crap follows!

When you move a Sim from one neighbourhood to another, they bring broken character files with them. These are stubs of the files of any characters they know, are related to, or have memories of.

I have edited these Sims so that they will not bring any junk character files with them.
They will not remember anyone who isn't in the package. Maxis created an object called "Mystery Sim" which they used for pre-generated memories: Create-a-Sim adults are given memories of an imaginary first friend/best friend/kiss. These memories point to an object, because if they pointed to an actual Sim, that Sim's character file would show up in all new neighbourhoods.

I have meticulously combed the memories of these Sims for references to characters outside this package, and redirected them to the "Mystery Sim." That way they aren't carrying the character baggage of almost two hundred chapters worth of story. The general effect is that they remember everything that's ever happened to them, but the details of who was involved are fuzzy (because those people don't exist in their new neighbourhood!)

Erasing all their memories would have been easier, but memories are part of what makes a Sim a Sim, in my opinion.

The only memory information which has been out-and-out deleted is gossip about Sims outside the package, because it can't be made to point to an object.

Do not try this at home without asking me how I did it.

Download the Chronicles Carry-Case here!

If you do use my Sims, please show me! I want to see if they ruin your life, too.

Some fun memory notes:

I really regret letting William bang all those chicks in university now.

Jerome mostly had gossip about Penny. In other words, his entire life was anecdotes about his wife.

Check out Sullivan's most recent memories for a good laugh. Then imagine me having to edit them all. Ugh.

Abigail is bugged; every male finds her three bolts attractive. You can see this in her memories. I have no issue with it.

Okay, well, um.

See you soon?

oh btw longest chapter ever lol

Recent Posts from This Journal

Comments

( 25 comments — Leave a comment )
lumy12
Aug. 2nd, 2016 04:12 am (UTC)
Oh boy oh boy oh boy you're not dead AND you bring presents! Happy 200th!

I'll probably fuck it up somehow but how can I resist having all those lovelies trolling around one of my 'hoods?! LUCAS LIVES!!! What if I don't have all your skins and crap? Then they won't look right? My Sims are all fugly Maxis. You would hate them.

Great update, too. We finally get to see the inner workings of the mysterious SCIA... Alvin is adorably clueless... Daisy and Iris look evil... William gets silver-fox-ified (but EWWWW before you fixed him) and gets to bang an old lady teen, on his wedding night no less... and gets a piano for allowing someone the honor of blowing him! And Melanieeeeeeeeeee! And Mohawk!Reaper!

My favorite for some reason--
Wow! A solar-powered portable vagina!

What would've made the update perfect is if the guard had shot Stewart. Oh well, can't have it all :D
gruglysims
Aug. 2nd, 2016 04:36 am (UTC)
I was dead because the presents took forever to assemble.

The pack has all the custom content in it. I've tested it. Let me see if you do use them!

I'm sure Stewart will get his eventually.
lumy12
Aug. 5th, 2016 05:40 pm (UTC)
Bah, I put it in my downloads folder but I don't know how to make them show up in the game :\ It's a wonder I ever got any custom content or ACR or anything into my game at all I'm so computer-dumb!
gruglysims
Aug. 6th, 2016 06:36 pm (UTC)
You need to open the file and have it self-install. You might also download the Sims 2 Clean Installer as it will let you see what the files inside do and decide if you don't want them.
lumy12
Aug. 9th, 2016 02:12 am (UTC)
I downloaded something to open the rar file, installed it all I think (the clean installer thing popped up so I must've got that back in the day)... shouldn't the Sims be in the bin ready to move in somewhere? I noticed some new custom content so at least I didn't fuck that part up (thank you :D)
gruglysims
Aug. 9th, 2016 07:43 am (UTC)
They -should- be in the lots bin. Not the family bin, mind.
lumy12
Aug. 13th, 2016 05:19 pm (UTC)
OMG there they are!!!!!!! I never would have noticed them in the "occupied lots" thing that I never ever click on :D And I've never been able to have more than 8 Sims on a lot before either, neato! *trots off to play with the shinies*
gruglysims
Aug. 13th, 2016 06:35 pm (UTC)
Yay! Let me know how it goes.
lumy12
Aug. 13th, 2016 10:44 pm (UTC)
The weirdest thing is they won't use hot tubs? They roll wants to woohoo in there and they try to go in and just whine at me that they can't. Both the love tub and regular hot tub. The welcome wagon people got in okay, though, so it's not like the objects were borked or placed weird or anything?! I forced errors on the Sims and the tubs and it didn't do anything. Hmph.

Vicki left William date flowers -- for an off-screen date, apparently. Cute!

You REALLY had a lot of work to do with that mystery Sim memory modification, yeah......... LOL Sullivan has like 25 lost-fight memories in a row!
gruglysims
Aug. 13th, 2016 11:47 pm (UTC)
I'm gonna chalk that up to them being fucking idiots. Anyway you should probably move them out of the carrying case, I'm sure it's borken :P

That would probably be this date.

The memory work was a nightmare. It took HOURS and HOURS. Part of me is still recovering from it. Of course, it was worse clearing up the seventy-two Sims and six pets I moved in for Generation 3, but who knows if anyone will ever see that.

All those lost fights are vs. Kaylynn Macarevich. Training her to become an unstoppable engine of living cell destruction!

Edited at 2016-08-13 11:48 pm (UTC)
lumy12
Aug. 14th, 2016 02:33 am (UTC)
I suppose I should but it was fun having them crammed into small quarters... they'll have to earn enough money to get out and move somewhere big. Or... maybe some of my playables will steal a few of them away from the others.

Oh I remember that! Didn't seem like a date... oh yeah 'til towards the end there where they're dancing and stuff. Ha.

Sully is hardcore! Taking one for the team! (or twenty-five)
gruglysims
Aug. 14th, 2016 02:42 am (UTC)
Have fun with them. But don't be afraid to let me see if you do :P

I usually don't show the obvious date stuff like when they ask each other our or whatever, mainly because it always looks the same - they make the best faces in that interaction and I don't want to overuse them.

Sullivan has a lot of personality for an NPC.
lumy12
Aug. 14th, 2016 02:55 am (UTC)
Yeah I should send you some crappy pics cuz that's the only kind I take :) I NEVER look at them. You can see all the sex Lucas is having! Way more than William!
gruglysims
Aug. 14th, 2016 03:05 am (UTC)
Hey, my old pics were TERRIBLE. In fact, there won't be ones that look good until like 2020.

I'm glad Lucas is with someone who doesn't hate his guts.
lumy12
Aug. 14th, 2016 03:54 am (UTC)
But you have a special camera or a mod or something, right? If I leave the walls up I can't see anything, so I can't really take story type pictures.

I want to marry Abigail off to my rich dude (soap opera character) who I WAS gonna pair with this teen when she grows up, BUT she pissed me off in the soap so fuck her. Coincidentally, her name is Abigail too, so it sort of works out, lol. And he likes blonde hair + creativity, so. But EVERYONE likes Abigail Young so it's not like that even matters, eh? So, I had him go to a community lot and Melanie happened by. He tried to buy her coffee, she didn't like that :( but she still came over when he invited her later... along with a whole bunch of other Chronicles peeps, yay! Melanie and Daisy promptly had a fight. And now Melanie is picking a fight with Kylo Ren, who happened to walk by right before they came over. *snicker* The girl has balls!

And someone has to have a pet to name Grugly! Can't have one with all ten of them living together.
gruglysims
Aug. 14th, 2016 06:58 am (UTC)
It's not THAT special. Most of the shots I do can be done with the TAB camera. Unless you didn't know about the TAB camera, which would be funny at your expense, which is my favourite kind of funny.

Melanie must have the zombie personality of 0 Nice. And she did zombie half the neighbourhood, so half those Chroniclites probably hate her.

I wonder if Abigail's three-bolts-with-everyone translated into your neighbourhood too.

The thought of these ten Sims in the same house is mind-boggling.
lumy12
Aug. 14th, 2016 04:19 pm (UTC)
I don't know about the TAB camera, so laugh it up! I've never told stories though so I don't NEED good pics.

I think she's missing a lot of personality "dots". Which is funny cuz I didn't know you could get rid of any, just move them around from one thing to the other.

So far she has 3 bolts with everyone, yep :) Maybe she's part veela?

It's hard to keep up with 10 of them if I don't do my pause-it-like-every-few-seconds-to-line-up-actions-in-everyone's-queues thing which would drive me batty (I've learned to relax that some and just let stuff happen sometimes). When my back was turned -- I didn't realize this was happening until the cinematic woohoo scene came on -- Jerome/Abigail, Lucas/Daisy, and Melanie/Sullivan happened. Teehee. Many of them are furious with many of their housemates so there's lots of fighting. Also lots of hugging. That's new! I guess I didn't have that "super hug" thing before.
gruglysims
Aug. 14th, 2016 08:39 pm (UTC)
Hit TAB. WASD for movement side to side/forward and back, Q for down, E for up.

Resurrecting someone as a zombie axes their personality. But if you have testing cheats on you can add or remove personality points as you like.

My Abby :)

I'm starting to find three or more Sims impossible to keep up with, but then again I'm obsessive.

You've got ACR, huh? Jerome and Abigail, that sounds nice. Lucas and Daisy... well.. that did HAPPEN. Melanie and Sullivan makes far too much sense.

They have a lot of reasons to hate each other.

Did I leave a hack related to hugging in the package? Didn't mean to if I did.
lumy12
Aug. 15th, 2016 02:37 am (UTC)
Huh. That doesn't sound easier than mousing though!

Yeah it's "debug super duper hug", something like that. I guess it's in there, I don't know where else I would've picked it up. Though now I admit I'm tempted to go looking for Sims to download. Ha! I have too many as it is, I don't really need to do that. I've been playing this new 'hood cuz my "fake prosperity challenge" 'hood is soooooo overrun with Sims it's kinda slow and crashy. Now I'm filling up the new one >.> I should kill more Sims, clearly. Population control! The game kills them for me sometimes in amusing ways.

Can't play for like 2 weeks now :(
gruglysims
Aug. 15th, 2016 06:26 am (UTC)
We choose to use the TAB camera, not because it is easy but because it is hard.

A quick check of the package shows no hacks. Don't blame my flawless masterpieces for your electronically transmitted diseases!

I shouldn't be playing, but I never do what I should if I can help it.
luminations
Aug. 19th, 2016 03:12 pm (UTC)
But I don't sleep around! Where else would it have come from? Oh well, it's quite a pleasant disease. No side effects. Just lots of hugs.

Going away this weekend with no internet. I'll open up your updates in their own tabs so I can still read but won't be able to comment, oh noes. I will comment next week some time.

Happy Simming to you!
gruglysims
Aug. 22nd, 2016 06:46 am (UTC)
The file list don't lie, sister!
lumy12
Aug. 13th, 2016 05:30 pm (UTC)
...and lol, the first thing that happened (I'm just letting them do whatever they want for a bit) is Abigail kicked Melanie's ass. *snicker*
gruglysims
Aug. 13th, 2016 06:35 pm (UTC)
That would have made things a lot simpler.
porkwithbones
Mar. 22nd, 2017 05:06 am (UTC)
Uma: At least he's not stuck in a tracksuit from the last millenium.

Two n's, Uma.
( 25 comments — Leave a comment )