Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates whenever I damn well please!
If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!
Pine Valley: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25A, 25B, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
Clover County: 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118 119, 120. 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155, 156, 157, 158, 159, 160, 161, 162, 163, 164, 165, 166, 167, 168, 169, 170, 171, 172, 173, 174, 175, 176, 177, 178, 179, 180, 181, 182, 183, 184, 186, 185, 187, 188, 189, 190, 191, 192, 193, 194, 195, 196, 197, 198, 199, 200.
Interludes: 1, 2, 3. April Fools' Day: 2014, 2014 Comparison, 2015.
Recaps: 1, 2.
Fancier, shorter, and hopefully still good!
Assuming it's ever been good.
Last time in the Clover County Chronicles...
Okay, true story.
I just started a new city in SimCity 2000 to get a new appearance for the paper.
Until now I've been using the Windows version. This is the DOS version, which I grew up with.
The game chooses a random name for each newspaper as your city grows.
I called my new city "Clover County."
The game generated the "Clover County Chronicle."
Destiny, I shit you not.
Hey, look who it is! One of my best Sims.
There you go, kids. Death gets you a free redhead girlfriend.
Brooke: Oh, I don't intend to be free.
Ah, the lab.
The deeply-inferior-to-Andrew's lab.
Abigail: What can I say, I blew my wad on the suit.
Abigail: ...not gonna ask what that means.
Oh no, what terrible mistake are you making now?
Abigail: Send me your longest-term tenant.
The Grim Reaper: Try not to let him catch fire this time.
Abigail: Oh no! Haunted glasses!
Kyle: YES! Wait, I'm still a vampire and it's daytime. HELP
Kyle: But still YES
Abigail: Kevin, it's you!
Kyle: Well this is a great start.
Kyle: I'm gonna miss these fangs.
Will you miss disintegrating in daylight?
Kyle: Dunno, I only tried it the once.
Kyle: Also I was bluffing about the fangs, can't see shit.
Kyle: I hope I look cool.
Abigail: Yeah, hi. Do you have some of that ready-made novampirejuice? I mean I could make it myself, and all, but I don't think he'd drink it.
Oliver: I really hope she's not talking about me.
Abigail: Who let you out of the bedroom?
Oliver: Hi... is Chelsea there? Oh, you are? I didn't recognize you 'cuz you sound so old.
Oliver: DON'T PRETEND YOU DON'T REMEMBER ME
Oliver: Yeah, mom finally got around to recycling the trash.
Brooke: I didn't realize you were so self-aware.
Kyle: This basement is so much better than being trapped in hell. He said sarcastically.
Brooke: I'm gonna feed you to the basement vampire!
Oliver: Hahaha quit it!
Kyle: Send her over. Hopefully resurrecting her makes up for going gay on her.
Kyle: WHAT AN UGLY EFFECT
Nah, the particle effects in this game look great! In motion. In photos they look like aerosolized ass.
Sunny: Speaking of looking like ass...
Kyle: WOO! Someone's mature!
I thought you were gay.
Kyle: Maybe I'm gay for these boobs.
Abigail: I could honestly figure out how to make that. I just don't have the time.
Felicia: Easy on the ego-soothing, sister.
Felicia: If you're so dang smart how come you're taking mystery liquid from a gypsy stereotype?
Abigail: I refuse to admit she has a point.
Kyle: MY LIFE HASN'T BEEN GREAT EITHER SUNNY
Abigail: Aw, what the fuck Kevin?
Oliver: Holy shit! Your boobs are awesome now!
Chelsea: Hahaha am I gonna get arrested for this.
Chelsea: I AM AREN'T I
Chelsea: No! Don't touch me! I won't let you molest yourself on me!
Oliver: Um, I'm over legal age, Chel. "Teen" covers, like, fifteen years in this game.
Chelsea: Well hello then.
Chelsea: What boyish charm you have! That still sounds wrong.
Chelsea: But whatever.
Brooke: Wow, being a real person sure is great!
Oliver: I DON'T WANT A BIGFOOT DATE
Abigail: Aw FUCK.
Oliver: Why are you still here?
Felicia: That sounds suspiciously like something a NAZI would say. To a gypsy.
Kyle: I'm double undead now.
Abigail: Aw, come on, it's not that bad. I did it for like a decade.
Abigail: Now drink these as I run away.
Oliver: I don't need a date. I'm reconnecting with my childhood girlfriend.
Felicia: You're out of childhood?
Kyle: How did you decide it was safe to drink?
Sunny: I didn't. I thought about it, but then I got bored.
Sunny: AND I REGRET NOTHING
Kyle: THIS IS MY IMPRESSION OF YOU
Sunny: Hey, not bad!
Kyle: WOW THAT KICKS
Sunny: There's a lovely menthol aftertaste too!
Kyle: I could really have gone for some brains just now.
I'm so glad we brought him back to life for this.
Sunny: I can't believe you thought of me! Thanks, gay friend!
Kyle: Bisexual friend, actually.
Abigail: Did I hear that correctly?
Kyle: I don't know, what devices were you using to SNOOP ON US
Abigail: Oh, like, fifty different ones.
Kyle: Wow! You remembered my birthday!
Abigail: I was there, you know.
Kyle: APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD
Sunny: So I'm not, like... stuck with him necessarily, right?
Sunny: 'cuz he's still pretty gay.
Abigail: Let me explain your situation with a cards metaphor.
Abigail: You have no cards.
Abigail: Like, zero.
Speaking of zero.
Yeah! Let's just electrocute it.
Brooke: Hey, who's the biker chick?
Sunny: I was kidnapped and forced to look like this.
Brooke: JUST LIKE A BIKER CHICK
Sunny: I think this suits me better!
I disagree! With myself, which is super cool.
Sunny: Gotta get to work!
You've been DEAD for, like, AGES.
Sunny: So I missed a few days, no biggie!
Kyle: Mixed messages achieved.
Yeah, that is the maybe-gayest face I've ever seen.
You're not cute enough for the lil' yellow wagon!
Brooke: Yay, options!
Kyle: I feel the same way.
Kyle: I hope she doesn't find what she's looking for down there.
Brooke: I forget what it was anyway.
Everyone knows this couple.
Kyle: I see you're living the miracle of life to its fullest.
Kyle: So, hey! Little brother! I don't know shit about you.
Oliver: Awesome! Someone who won't automatically hate me.
Kyle: If you keep sucking face with that old woman I might.
Kyle: She looks angry now. Why does she look angry?
Oliver: HEY KYLE YOU GOT MAIL
Brooke: Heyyyyy man!
Kyle: Yeah! Heyyyy man!
Brooke: No, not him fuckhead, you.
Brooke: Okay, maybe him.
Wow, that's not even an ugly pic.
Welcome to the new age.
To the new age.
Welcome to the new HELP I CAN'T STOP
Is it bad that every time two Sims cross paths for the first time I consider jettisoning the rest of their lives for an affair?
Carolina: Where you going?
Kyle: There was a taller blonde back here, right? It's not you right?!
Kyle: Maaaaaagic boooooook appears and disssssapppeaaaaars
Kyle: Pretty hot, right.
Margaret: That boy was trying to get your attention.
Kyle: Probably thinks I'm gay or something.
Kyle: Probably because we made out that one time.
Focus, man. Find the ones you can't buy with money first.
Aw come on.
Kendra: That's the idea!
Kendra: SO STOP COCKBLOCKING MY BUSINESS
Kyle: That is a damn fine looking woman!
Brooke: Expensive looking, more like.
No, don't even talk to those.
DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU AGAIN KYLE
Kyle: Wait, you killed me the first time?!
Kyle: HAVING A REVELATION HERE BRADY
Brady: How unlike you.
Timothy Parmeley: I am also here.
Andrew Baity the Atrociously Evil Warlock: I am also also here!
Brady: My arch-nemesis, the Barenaked Ladies!
I feel that way sometimes too.
Andrew Baity the Atrociously Evil Warlock: What, no reaction?
Kyle: Been dead fifty years, pal. A little lightning doesn't quite ruin my mood.
Alright. Next time: more of this. I'm doing shorter chapters to avoid looking at three hundred pics and going "ugh I'd rather eat a whole box of Lucky Charms let's do that."
I love Lucky Charms.