Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates whenever I damn well please!
If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!
Pine Valley: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25A, 25B, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
Clover County: 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118 119, 120. 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155, 156, 157, 158, 159, 160, 161, 162, 163, 164, 165, 166, 167, 168, 169, 170, 171, 172, 173, 174, 175, 176, 177, 178, 179, 180, 181, 182, 183, 184, 186, 185, 187, 188, 189, 190, 191, 192, 193, 194, 195, 196, 197, 198, 199, 200, 201, 202, 203, 204, 205, 206, 207, 208, 209, 210, 211, 212.
Interludes: 1, 2, 3. April Fools' Day: 2014, 2014 Comparison, 2015.
Recaps: 1, 2.
In which consent laws are suitably enforced.
How's that for edgy.
Brittany: Okay, so here's the plan. You go in there and, like, be a big dumb jerk in her face, then I'll come in, save the day, and have my molars deep in crotchcave before the sun rises!
Amar: Wow! That was DISGUSTING!
Brittany: Yeah, I'm pretty proud of it.
Amar: Just so we're clear - this chick is the sister of that TV chick, right.
Amar: Maybe I can get an autograph! After I pork her.
Somebody wants to screw you.
Poppy: I'm too busy screwing other people.
Poppy: You'd be amazed, the signing bonuses all these local companies offer.
Amar: Is she a good lay? From your weird lesbian perspective?
Brittany: ...you probably don't need to know.
Michael: If Poppy's just gonna sell this,tell me and I'll return it myself.
Poppy: Oh, the baby's kicking.
Poppy: ...the what.
Amar: I don't think I like your plan.
Brittany: I WILL MOVE YOU BODILY INSIDE
Brittany: Actually, yeah, forget it. You look like a crazy rapist or something.
Amar: Heheheh. I'm not crazy.
Brittany: You. Sidewalk. Now.
Poppy: PUKE THE PAIN AWAY
Amar: Look. You want to get back at this chick, just make out with me.
Brittany: Where she can see us?
Amar: Ugh, that sounds terrible.
Brittany: I want her to notice when I get back at her, pal. I'm not going for a moral victory.
Brittany: Okay, you can be my fake boyfriend.
Amar: I wish that wasn't the best offer I've ever gotten.
Amar: If I squint, you're kinda cute. I'm in.
Brittany: So now we kiss?
Amar: I don't know! I've never gotten past home plate with a chick.
Brittany: OH POPPY YOU CAUGHT US
Amar: IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.
Brittany: It is, though.
Amar: Nah, definitely not.
Brittany: STOP OGLING HER AND GROPE ME DAMMIT
Brittany: Or... don't, actually, now that I see you in the light.
Brittany: I MEAN WOW THIS DUDE IS HOT HEY POPS?
Poppy: Did you just yell something or was it my bowels?
Brittany: Oh, you big dumb manly man. That's what straight chicks like right?
Brittany: She had better be getting this, because it is hard.
Amar: Other things are hard, too.
Brittany: This is the worst fake date I've never been on.
Brittany: Luckily she can't see us behind this split screen.
That wasn't a split screen, the camera was just clipped through a wall.
Brittany: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO PRETEND TO BE STRAIGHT IF YOU HADN'T PRETENDED TO BE GAY
Brittany: Also I might be bi.
Amar: We've gotta do something with that hair, though.
Poppy: Mf. Strangle you with it.
Your pretend boyfriend is missing.
Brittany: I'll pretend to worry.
Amar: I'm glad they had this fancy rich-person barricade.
Amar: Ooh yeah baby, let me objectify you.
Poppy: If I open my eyes, will I see something you'll regret?
Poppy: Oh, look, you have one of those. Well aren't you special.
Poppy: Good bye, serial skulker.
Amar: Aw, I thought you'd go easy.
Poppy: And I thought you'd go... like... away.
Poppy: Um, no, sorry, women have been people for at least a hundred years.
Poppy: You'd be amazed how many special rights your sad little prick doesn't grant you.
Amar: I thought all lesbians secretly wanted dick!
Poppy: Thanks for that legacy, Gigli.
Amar: It smells like toothpaste down here.
Amar: I'll give you something to defend!
Poppy: STOP GIVING ME THINGS
Poppy: In SimSoviet SimRussia, bitch chokes YOU!
Amar: I WANT YOUR LOVE, NOT YOUR CONSENT
Brittany: This is not my favourite plan ever.
Brittany: I should intervene, but they're all the way upstairs.
Poppy: And now, I shall insert this barre in you.
Amar: Can you wear a cheerleader costume when you do it?
Brittany to the rescue!
Poppy: ON THIS VERY SPECIAL EPISODE OF THE CLOVER COUNTY CHRONICLES
Poppy: WE MAKE A DEFINITIVE STATEMENT ON SEXUAL ASSAULT
Amar: Oh no, it's Build Mode outside!
Poppy: Let me axe you a question.
Poppy: WHY WOULD YOU BRING RAPE TO A LIBERAL PARTY
Amar: So wait, am I still getting laid?
Poppy: YOU'VE GOT ALL THE GASH YOU'RE GETTING
Poppy: Score one for the ladies! Masters of our own bodies.
The Grim Reaper: EXCEPT WHEN THE GRIM REAPER COMES.
Poppy: Sure, but that never happens.
Brittany: Is somebody dragging damned souls over the carpet upstairs?
Poppy: I'm trying to figure out how to blame this on Michael.
Brittany: OH NO HE SEEMED SO NICE
Brittany: See if I ever lend you my dudes again!
Poppy: Oh, you're laying claim to the ATTEMPTED RAPIST are you?
Brittany: BETTER THAN THE AXE MURDERER
Poppy: Not really? At all?
Poppy: IT'S NOT MY FAULT I'M BISEXUAL, STUPID
Brittany: IT'S NOT MY FAULT I AM EITHER
Poppy: Wait, you...? When did THAT...?
Poppy: ...this is also assault, you know.
Brittany: Oh, Amar. We shall not see your like again.
Poppy: STOP CRYING FOR HIM, ARGENTINA
Poppy: WHY HELLO THERE MEN'S RIGHTS ACTIVISM, I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE
Brittany: ...what're you...?
Poppy: EAT CARPET, MISOGYNY!
Brittany: Hmm. Word choice?
Poppy: THE ONLY SUCKING YOU'LL GET IS FROM A VACUUM CLEANER, PUNK!
Brittany: Can I just say that I'm a little bit turned on right now.
Brittany: Is this a "no"?
Brittany: Yes, it's a "no"?
Poppy: That was a fun little adventure.
I've just -really- wanted to kill a man lately.
Next time: a totally innocent reunion.