Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates whenever I damn well please!
If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!
Pine Valley: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25A, 25B, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
Clover County: 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118 119, 120. 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155, 156, 157, 158, 159, 160, 161, 162, 163, 164, 165, 166, 167, 168, 169, 170, 171, 172, 173, 174, 175, 176, 177, 178, 179, 180, 181, 182, 183, 184, 186, 185, 187, 188, 189, 190, 191, 192, 193, 194, 195, 196, 197, 198, 199, 200, 201, 202, 203, 204, 205, 206, 207, 208, 209, 210, 211, 212, 213, 214, 215, 216, 217, 218, 219.
Interludes: 1, 2, 3. April Fools' Day: 2014, 2014 Comparison, 2015.
Recaps: 1, 2.
Part three of our uplifting discursus on high art.
Or rather, boobies.
The never-ending fami-ly! Ah ah ah, ah ah ah, ah ah ah.
Stephen: Wow, excellent! You sound like you'd be perfect!
Brooke: Buddy, sound ain't the half of it.
Stephen: I'm nobody's buddy.
Abigail: So I'm back here again.
Stephen: How do you sneak with those boots on?
Stephen: aaaand fiction.
Stephen: Please fuck off.
Okay, now we're getting somewhere.
Somewhere rude, but it's better than nowhere.
Stephen: You're a natural, baby.
Abigail: A natural scientist.
Stephen: No wonder our chemistry is so good.
Stephen: You're not mad?
Abigail: The pun was horrendous but the tongue was tremendous.
Abigail: Let me return the favour.
This can only end well.
Stephen: It's ending pretty soon, let me tell you.
Okay, even I'm grossed out now. Get in here already, woman.
Stephen: Look! It's WooHoo o'clock!
Mrs. Crumplebottom: I DISAPPROVE OF THIS HOUR
Ember: Is this day ever gonna end?
Stephen: Welcome to the Stephen Murphy Chronicles.
Aaaand the last few readers disappear.
Kyle: WooHoo o'clock! It's almost happy hour!
Seriously though, how long are you planning to stretch this out for?
Stephen: I'm taking pictures of naked women and having sex with them. What would you do?
Wake up, I imagine.
Ember: Send us a postcard why don't you.
Stephen: Yeah man, long time no see! Come on over! Bring your wife!
Stephen: Great, a Dracula wife.
Contessa Lucy Toyonaga: -isn't as scary as she thinks she is-
Stephen: Exit freely and of your own free will.
Stephen: Dude, you're blocking the view. Scoot.
Stephen: Okay! Wow! Penny's pregnant! Goodbye then.
Penny: I'm a cop. I've forgotten things about blackmail most criminals never learn.
Stephen: Fine, one makeout, five minutes max.
Stephen: Hey, did I catch you in the bathroom? Hahaha, I know, that was mean.
Erin: I'm weak for you!
Stephen: Like your bladder is weak? For pee?
Stephen: I'm just kiddin' ya! You did pee yourself a lot though.
Stephen: So don't leave it too late, is all I'm sayin'.
Erin: I'm SO thrilled this is my one character note!
Stephen: I thought of posing you on a toilet, but OH MY GOD I DID NOT THINK OF THAT! That's a WAY better idea! SHIT.
Good enough for her, I guess.
Erin: I look contemplative!
Stephen: You look like you're waiting in line for a stall.
Erin: Wow, if that joke got any older, it'd be you.
Stephen: I love our little give-and-take relationship.
Yes, I get it, Stephen and I are very creative with our libidos, that's enough.
Stephen: When the racist caricatures come out, it's time to bail.
Ember: Who is that handsome stranger?!
Stephen: I WAS THE FIRST MAIN CHARACTER. I want four chapters in a row, I damn well GET them.
Stephen: Anyway I see you're having fun on your own, bye!
Ember: Who was that unmasked man?
Stephen: Why is there a ring on my elbow?
OH MY GOD
I JUST REALIZED
THE GAME DRAWS RINGS
WHEN YOUR PHONE RINGS
Xavier: Daddy, please come home! I miss existing.
Stephen: You want to make yourself useful, get out there and round me up some chicks.
Xavier: I do know one lady, but she's pretty old.
Stephen: Send her over! What harm could it do?
Stephen: He asked foolishly.
Mrs. Crumplebottom: STEPHEN SEBASTIEN MURPHY
Stephen: I don't even have a middle name!
Mrs. Crumplebottom: YOU DO NOW
Stephen: Is your character data corrupted or something?
Stephen: Anyway beat it, hot chicks inbound.
Stephen: Um, no? Stephen? And anyway call me dad.
Oliver: It's a stretch, but I'll try.
Sunny: You want us to what?!
Stephen: Whoa there, slow down! It's only "us" if this chick is older than she looks.
Stephen: Are you older than you look.
Brooke: Nice place you have here!
Stephen: How come you're so short.
Brooke: Because I've been stuck in the wrong age group for two years?
Stephen: That's weird and I don't like it.
Brooke: Try living it.
Brooke: No, wait - don't.
Brooke: Man, if that is our competition, we're shoe-ins!
Stephen: So, we're doing nude shoots of people that expose their innermost personalities.
Brooke: My innermost personality would never go naked.
Stephen: Okay, pull back a few layers, then. And take your clothes off.
Stephen: Wait, let me see your driver's license first, I'm still not 100% on that "twenty-two" business.
Stephen: Just for reference, how old are you?
Stephen: Jesus CHRIST.
Brooke: If it makes you feel any better, I'm basically a Barbie doll.
How do you pee?
Brooke: Oh, I don't. I let Erin do it for me.
Brooke: So my innermost personality is... papergirl.
Stephen: If you have a second character trait, now is the time to reveal it.
Mrs. Crumplebottom: In my day, props were illegal.
Stephen: You're referring to that apple you and your husband ate, right? In the garden?
Brooke: I like baseball. I could hold a baseball!
Stephen: Yeah? 'cuz it doesn't look like you can...
Sunny: Alright, Matlock's on. I'm out.
Stephen: How would you like to be my secretary?
Brooke: Do I get to wear clothes?
Stephen: You're not required to, but yeah, sure!
Stephen: What say?
Brooke: Say what?
Brooke: Proper grammar or no grammar, buddy.
Stephen: What's with all this "buddy" shit lately?
Brooke: Guess you just look like a real buddhead.
Stephen: Marry me.
Brooke: I'm looking for someone around my own age. What are you, like, forty?
Stephen: Depends. Is it today today, or fifty years ago?
Stephen: I think we can safely conclude that nobody's age makes any sense anymore.
Brooke: Anyway, I can take school off because technically I should be in university, but you're gonna have to pay me... hello? Hello?
Stephen: I'm temporarily distracted by the revelation that you have nipples.
Brooke: Alright, fine. Go get a knife and we'll cut this sexual tension up.
Stephen: I don't know where to take that metaphor.
Brooke: If an actual knife is involved you've made a mistake.
Stephen: Okay, let's do another shoot. Maybe something outside, to increase the chances that something goes wrong!
Brooke: Awesome, outside! So I can get all wet and dirty and all the neighbours can see me. Gerat plan.
Brooke: Why don't we go to my school and embarass me in front of an entire generation, too?
Brooke: Or you could pose me on a fuckin' schoolbus for maximum creepiness.
Stephen: You go next door, I'll get the bus.
Stephen: Bus or BUST! Wait, better! Bust on Bus or BUST!
Brooke: I'm suddenly rooting for "bust."
Brooke: Maybe we can wait her lifetime out...
Brooke: Concrete dividers! The man is classy.
Stephen: Nothing but the best for my possibly litigious model!
Armando: Come on, Sean! I saw a girl walk by!
Armando: Well I don't know about that, Sean, but boobs, definitely!
Brooke: This is stupid. You're stupid for doing this.
Brooke: Anyway I thought you were getting a bus.
Stephen: It's amazing how many schools don't let you just take them.
Stephen: Please leave.
Stephen: Yes, but please leave.
Armando: Boobs. :)
Stephen: Alright boobs, time for a re-think.
Jay: Oh my god, it's a red-maned flatchester!
Jessie: Where? WHERE?!
Stephen: Please leave my vacant lot.
Brooke: QUICK STEPHEN
Stephen: It's your very own copy!
Brooke: I know what I look like naked, thanks.
Stephen: This is for when you get old and grody.
Brooke: No, alcohol is for when I get old and grody.
Stephen: It was nice to meet you.
Brooke: It was, wasn't it.
Next time: oh my god it's Stephen one more time.
What the FUCK.