gruglysims (gruglysims) wrote,
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The Clover County Chronicles, Chapter 223


Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!



If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!


Previous Updates
Pine Valley:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25A, 25B, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
Clover County: 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118 119, 120. 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155, 156, 157, 158, 159, 160, 161, 162, 163, 164, 165, 166, 167, 168, 169, 170, 171, 172, 173, 174, 175, 176, 177, 178, 179, 180, 181, 182, 183, 184, 186, 185, 187, 188, 189, 190, 191, 192, 193, 194, 195, 196, 197, 198, 199, 200, 201, 202, 203, 204, 205, 206, 207, 208, 209, 210, 211, 212, 213, 214, 215, 216, 217, 218, 219, 220, 221, 222.
Sharpesvale: 737.
Interludes: 1, 2, 3. April Fools' Day: 2014, 2014 Comparison, 2015.
Recaps: 1, 2.

I hope some of you like me well enough to pronounce me dead when I disappear like that.

'ere we go 'ere we go 'ere we go.




In which nobody is younger than forty.



Sunny: I just realized this isn't fun.



Abigail: Come here Stephen, I need you.



Abigail: Wonder if he got that reference.



Abigail: Hey! No helping the competitors!
Clay: Yeah! What?



Clay: Hey, my hatedar is going off.



Clay: WHY WOULD YOU ASK HIM OVER
Abigail: WHY DO YOU THINK THAT'S SLAPWORTHY



Clay: Hey! Don't swoon over a man who hits you! That's socially regressive is what that is.



Clay: NOW DO IT RIGHT THIS TIME



Abigail: -fights the urge to bean him with a garbage can lid-



Clay: PLEASED TO MEET YOU I'M CLAY



Abigail: First we have the test of strength!



Sunny: I don't know if it's fair to put a career criminal in a boxing match with a hundred-year-old man.



Sunny: Anyway bye.



Nathaniel: WHY AM I EVEN HERE



Oliver: Get him, dad!
Abigail: Survive, Stephen!



Oliver: You didn't get him!
Abigail: You survived!



Abigail: Good work! Next comes the test of intellect.
Clay: Think I'll just beat him up again.



Abigail: No, don't you see? You're competing for me! Next we'll do something skill-testing.
Stephen: I like this idea!
Clay: This is assuming I still want you, bitch?



Clay: 'cuz inviting your ex over for a love contest is not great girlfriend behaviour.



Clay: Anyway look at that dude! If you're planning, like, a "Lord of the Rings" trivia contest, I'm fucked.



Clay: I say we put him on a bus and forget the whole thing.



Stephen: Hey Oliver! How's my favourite son?
Oliver: I don't know who that is.



Abigail: Hoyle's Book of Rules is surprisingly silent on the topic of love contests.



Abigail: So, chess it is!
Clay: Yay.
Stephen: Darts is out of the question?



Stephen: No man, sit down. I'm gonna break you.



Clay: Just getting into character, bitch.



Nathaniel: This uncle sucks. Can I get a new one?



Oliver: I DO NOT SUCK



Clay: Just so you know, I've been practicing this with Sunny for like weeks.
Stephen: Just so you know, I taught Kyle who taught Sunny.



Stephen: Also I will pay you to take a fall.
Abigail: Hey! Only the ref gets bribes!



Abigail: I'm the ref.
Clay: We got it.



Nathaniel: You should do an elocution test!
Abigail: An electrocution test?! Fantastic idea!



Nathaniel: I'm certain you heard me right.
Abigail: How did you know I've secretly wanted to electrocute them both?



Clay: I'm beating the shit out of you figuratively now, as well as literally.



Stephen: Can I tag someone in?



Oliver: How dare you make dad compete for your love!
Abigail: Kid, my love trades on Wall Street.



Oliver: Haha yeah these shmucks don't deserve you.



I should just rename the entire journal "Schmucks."



Case in point.



Brooke: Wow, your undeserved confidence is so attractive!



Clay: I'm gonna ask her to marry me.
Stephen: Fart noises.



Clay: You could at least have made fart noises.
Stephen: I'm saving them for your funeral.



Stephen: Hey, I don't like you very much.



Clay: I love Abigail.
Stephen: Of course you do. Her suit emits pheremones.



Stephen: And caffeine. Caffeine too.
Nathaniel: HAHA SAME CLOTHES



Abigail: How did we get them into private school?
Stephen: We tricked the Headmaster into thinking we had a stable family.



Clay: You're losing, you loser.



Stephen: Just wait 'til the ballroom dancing component.



Clay: That was not a symbol for ballroom dancing.

You try describing what it was.



Abigail: Wait, shit! What if neither of you is good enough for me?!



Nathaniel: I know where we can put them.



Nathaniel: Don't mind me.



I MIND YOU VERY MUCH



Abigail: That's toxic waste. From my toxic waste monster.



Kyle: I have many framed certificates.



Clay: They should make glow-in-the-dark chess pieces.
Stephen: No, they shouldn't, because chess is just to distract boring people until it's not too early to go to bed anymore.



Stephen: What I'm saying is hurry up and lose.



Stephen: Or never mind, I quit, please feed me.



Stephen: What's the next round?
Clay: I hope there's a fashion component.



Clay: Not that you'd be any judge.



Clay: Hey kids, grab some of that toxic waste for the old man!



Abigail: The next test is about science!
Stephen: Way ahead of you.



Stephen: Look! The tip of my finger!
Clay: I can't see it!



Stephen: Look! My old car.
Clay: Is there anything around here you didn't used to own?



Stephen: Yeah! Your ass!



Stephen: Oversight corrected.



Clay: Aaaagh.

He's too tired to really get into it.



Stephen: He's probably going to go grab some fancy lockpicks and poke me with them.



Clay: Do you do contract hits?



Clay: No! He's way older than one, that'll never fool him!



Clay: Okay milky momma, do your stuff.



Clay: Wait right here and I'll go get you someone to eat.



SLAM

Clay: Sure is drafty here.



Clay: Is this some kind of contract agreement ritual?



This is the kind of magic the world had in it before Trump.



Clay: Just go GLOMP and eat him, okay? Do you need to practice first?



Clay: That's right, rear up all scary-like! Let's see if we can't get him to wet himself.



Clay: Hey, don't waste all your menace on me, baby!



Clay: You're taking this dress rehearsal way too serio-



Clay: HRRAAAAUUUUUUGHHHHHRRGLLLGRRRRRLGL



Sunny: And the winner, by a knockout, is...



Cowplant: Burrrrp
Clay: help



Abigail: Wow, I thought he was just gonna get some steroids or something.



Nathaniel: That weird guy died.
Sunny: You guys take your turns now.



Abigail: Did you eat my boyfriend? That's not very good tenant behaviour.



Abigail: Please don't show me.



Stephen: I won! I won!
Kyle: Dancing crane style!



Stephen: I made my rival kill himself!
Kyle: Hey man, wow.



Oliver: Such bullshit! He was kicking your wussy ass, dad!



Nathaniel: And now his ass is grass! Cow grass. I dunno.



Oliver: So yeah, you're NOT gonna tell the news...?
Stephen: ...that I made him kill himself, RIGHT, OKAY, stop making such a big deal out of this.



Kyle: My head has an aerial now.



Farewell Clay, we hardly yaaawn.



What was happening again?



Stephen: Go away grandchildren, don't like grandchildren.



Stephen: DO like GRANDMA.



Abigail: I was secretly hoping you'd win.
Stephen: I know.
Abigail: But instead you murdered a dude.



Stephen: Hahaha townie lives! Not as important as real lives.



Abigail: I'll kiss to that!



Stephen: You're still the hottest chick around, Abby.
Abigail: And you're still inexplicably attractive to me, Stevie.



Abigail: OOF! Hello! There's the 'xplication!



Stephen: Six inches of pure unadulterated normality, baby!



Abigail: Who knew bland could be so grand?



Stephen: Got any snacks?



Nathaniel: This I also am wondering.



Stephen: How are you still so... um... narrow down there?!
Abigail: I found this great tape that lets you subconsciously exercise your genitals while you sleep.



Stinky Skunk: Later man, I'm trippin' out.
Nathaniel: Later Stinky Skunk!



Remember, I'm a feminist.



Stephen: If you think about it, it's really romantic that I'd drive a man to suicide for you.
Abigail: That's why I'm trying really hard not to think about it.



Stephen: Your ass is mine!
Abigail: No dice! I can see how poorly you treat yours!



Abigail: Why you gotta be so hot?
Stephen: Why you gotta be so hot?!



Oliver: Why you gotta be so asleep?



Stephen: Wow! So light!
Abigail: I've got docking thrusters in my boots.



Stephen: There's a fly.
Abigail: Swat it with me!



Abigail: Does this face look dumb?
Stephen: Yes!
Abigail: I thought it would.



Stephen: Art!



Abigail: Science.



Abigail: I'm a master of many fields.



Stephen: I'M MAD AT YOUR NOSE



Stephen: And also that a dude beat me up.



Stephen: But he did die soon after.
Abigail: Correlation is not causation.



Oliver: Phew, what smells like big words down here?



Abigail: Team Awesome?
Stephen: Go Team Awesome GO!

I refuse to believe that Stephen is on Team Awesome.

Next time: at least one more horrifying glitch.

To look forward to.

Tags: clover county chronicles, ea games, eaxis, legacy challenge, maxis, prosperity, sims, sims 2
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