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The Clover County Chronicles, Chapter 230


Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!



Previous Updates
Pine Valley:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25A, 25B, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
Clover County: 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118 119, 120. 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155, 156, 157, 158, 159, 160, 161, 162, 163, 164, 165, 166, 167, 168, 169, 170, 171, 172, 173, 174, 175, 176, 177, 178, 179, 180, 181, 182, 183, 184, 186, 185, 187, 188, 189, 190, 191, 192, 193, 194, 195, 196, 197, 198, 199, 200, 201, 202, 203, 204, 205, 206, 207, 208, 209, 210, 211, 212, 213, 214, 215, 216, 217, 218, 219, 220, 221, 222, 223, 224, 225, 226, 227, 228, 229.
Sharpesvale: 737.
Interludes: 1, 2, 3. April Fools' Day: 2014, 2014 Comparison, 2015.
Recaps: 1, 2.

Now for some fun in the trailer park.

It worked for that one TV show! Can't remember the name.




Oh god, this lost opportunity. Let's see if we can't get it back a bit.



Man, you're even hot when you're not.



Ally: Wow, you really like this stuff, huh?



Ally: CAN'T HAVE IT



Bobby: .oO(Welp.)



Ally: Man, I like you too much to keep hating you so much.



Bobby: .oO(I can't breathe.)



Wait, what?



Ally: LOOK HOW MUCH I'M ABUSING MY CHILD



Social Worker: I can't believe how much you're abusing your child!



Ally: I do feel pretty bad about it.



Social Worker: Guess I just gotta take it!
Ally: Ayup.



Bobby: .oO(Welp.)



Social Worker: Trauma!



Social Worker: Buckle up!



Yeah, I'd be upset if I wasted a good burger too.



Dagmar: Leave your baby in there, did you?



Dagmar: Oh god it was a joke please don't hurt me



Ally: Hey, I was wondering! You got any hot jobs need filling downtown?
Dagmar: The government isn't really into that whole prostitution racket, honey.



Ally: Um, what? I just wondered-
Dagmar: I mean, I know you underprivileged sorts like to get down and dirty for your pay, and I sympathize with that, I really do, but that's not the kind of atmosphere we want to cultivate at city hall.



Ally: I'M NOT A PROSTITUTE.
Dagmar: Of course not. I'm sure you're something much more respectable, like... oh... a cheerleader or something, right?



Ally: Hahaha fuck.



Ally: But for reals. I heard you're building a jail! I could man a jail. Woman a jail? Anyway you should look me up, I beat up like a hundred zombies during the apocalypse.



Dagmar: Oh shit, that was you?! Haha, wow! Hero to prostitute in twenty years, so sad.



Ally: I'm not a prostitute. I'm my own person.
Dagmar: Hahaha sure honey, that's why you're dressed as a maid.



Ally: Hahaha fuck.



Dagmar: I'll look into it. Maybe there's a mailroom you could, you know, clean.



Ally: Plan B: find treasure in my front yard.



Brandi: Hey there! I hear you're looking for work!
Ally: I'm not helping you with your pyramid scheme, Brandi.
Brandi: You'll be sorr-ry!





You're right, that dirt looks much better over there.



Robert: It's a townie's life, am I right, Mrs. Kim?
Ally: I'M NOT A TOWNIE NOW
Robert: Oh, right! You're a prostitute!



Ooh! I bet you could open a cam site. "My Lower Half Cleans Shit."



Seriously though, why are you naked suddenly?

Ally: Because people are easier to wash than clothes.



How did this place get so filthy?

Ally: It heard everyone calling me a prostitute and tried to lower itself to my level.



Just so we're clear - you intentionally got rid of that kid, right.

Ally: YEAH 'CUZ I'M NOT ALLOWED TO BE SAD IF IT WAS ON PURPOSE



Aw, come on! At least let the poor lady keep her butterflies.



Ally: I want to buy a boyfriend. NO NOT A PROSTITUTE



Phoebe: Do you live here?
Renée: Us uplifted individuals don't speak to townies, princess.



Renée: Isn't that right, funny dog?



Renée: NOT FUNNY, FUNNY DOG!



Phoebe: Looks good on you, bitch.



Renée: Does it, though?



Felicia: Hey whose weird dog is that



Felicia: Nice door! Where'd you get it?
Ally: It... came with the house?



Ally: I'm lonely.
Felicia: With that face.
Ally: I'm paying you to help, not to wonder.



Um.



Ally: So, I was thinking a nice-
Felicia: Gimme some money.
Ally: ...a nice chick, with pretty-
Felicia: Gimme some money.



Felicia: GIMME SOME MONEY



Felicia: MMM GOOD MONEY



Renée: Washing my hands didn't work for some reason.



Ally: Tell me you've got a good one on the hook.
Felicia: Oh, they're pretty fly.



Felicia: For a doomed guy.



Ally: "Guy?"



Tyler: Well, here's one for the ol' memoirs.



Tyler: YOU MIGHT WANT TO MOVE



Ally: A dude! When I specifically asked for a chick. Gee, thank you so much.



Ally: Your Yelp! page is getting a hell of a keyboard-full tonight.



Ally: So yeah, hi. I'm Ally. And apparently I'm bisexual.



Tyler: Oh geez, I'm sorry. That won't work, I'm heterosexual.
Ally: ...?



Tyler: I mean I'm all about the knitting and the natural foods, but not so much about the penises.
Ally: You realize that you don't need to be bisexual to date a bisexual, right?
Tyler: I do?



Felicia: Can you guys strike a pose? For my Yelp! page?



Ally: I should have just asked YOU for a date.



Tyler: Leave before you fuck my date up.



Ally: ...um... hello?



Tyler: Why do you have a stinky cheerleader in here?
Ally: Couldn't tell ya!



Ally: If you leave right now I won't ask what you were doing in here.
Renée: That sounds fair.



Ally: Have a cold hamburger.
Tyler: I was kinda hoping for a hot meal-
Ally: -and I was kinda hoping for a chick so you takes what you gets.



Tyler: That sounds fair.



I've had worse dates than this.

Hahaha no I haven't.

I've had two.



Tyler: I'm sorry, but I have a two-broken-teeth maximum for any given meal.



Ally: I don't like you, but my standards do.



Tyler: For what it's worth, you're pretty hot.
Ally: Yeah? I know?



Tyler: THIS IS TOO COMPLICATED FOR ME



Tyler: We could make out instead.



Ally: I could bust your head open instead.



Tyler: That'd be a pretty brief date.



Ally: That was a terrible joke.



Tyler: And this is a terrible kiss!



Tyler: Okay, it's getting better.



Tyler: This could be a real turning point in my life!

Not if I have anything to say about it.

And since I have everything to say about it...



Ally: So hey, what do you want in life? Besides a rhinoplasty.



Tyler: I want to live in a house with walls and a roof.



Ally: HAHAHA TOWNIE DREAMS



Ally: Seriously though, not gonna happen.



Tyler: This is almost as good as food and shelter.





Tyler: She whacked me in the head!



Tyler: I wonder if [current TV show] is on.



Tyler: Dammit! [Local sports team] is playing!



Ally: If you like sports, I can accomodate that.



Ally: Fada soola gor!
Tyler: Gibberish!



Ally: Fada soola bron!
Tyler: Utter nonsense!



Ally: Fada vaby oba vada gonk gonk GONK!
Tyler: The purest balderdash!



Ally: Gerbitz! GERBITZ!
Tyler: Jibba-jabba!



Ally: Vohhhhhhh GERBITZ!
Tyler: Adventures in glossalalia!



Tyler: You even taste like mumbo jumbo.



Ally: We really need an English version.



Where do you get roses at this hour?

Tyler: On other people's doorsteps.



Ally: Goodbye television. You were good until the mid-2000s.



Ally: Okay, this one'll be harder.



Ally: Goodbye family! You were good in concept.



Where you off to?

Ally: Gonna try my luck at the SCIA.

Yeah, luck and espionage are a great combination.



Ally: Well well WELL. Dagmar, I could kiss you if you weren't so straight.



Ally: So I take it the mayor found a job for me?
Gina: Take it or leave it.



Ally: Considering the alternatives, yeah, let's blow this trailer joint.

Next time: 'stutes.

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Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
porkwithbones
Feb. 24th, 2017 04:39 am (UTC)
This chapter is lying about its age.

…You did that just to make me comment, didn't you?
gruglysims
Feb. 24th, 2017 05:02 am (UTC)
FUCK. I missed that.

Anyway, sure. It worked!
lumy12
Apr. 4th, 2017 04:13 am (UTC)
Sims can't actually give up kids for adoption, can they?? Is there a mod for that? I think it's stupid that you can give up pets but not kids.

That terrible joke was awesome!

I once thought a skunk was a cat. In my defense, I was fairly young and wasn't wearing my glasses at the time. My parents stopped me from approaching it with my "nice kitty kitty" so I didn't get sprayed, yay.
gruglysims
Jul. 18th, 2017 08:27 am (UTC)
They can, in the sense that they can leave them alone until Needs failure - or their Maker can do it for them ;) Virtual child abuse for the... win? :S

Most terrible jokes are.

They're pretty adorable cats. Waddle waddle.

Edited at 2017-07-18 08:27 am (UTC)
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )