Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates whenever I damn well please!
If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!
Pine Valley: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25A, 25B, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
Clover County: 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118 119, 120. 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155, 156, 157, 158, 159, 160, 161, 162, 163, 164, 165, 166, 167, 168, 169, 170, 171, 172, 173, 174, 175, 176, 177, 178, 179, 180, 181, 182, 183, 184, 186, 185, 187, 188, 189, 190, 191, 192, 193, 194, 195, 196, 197, 198, 199, 200, 201, 202, 203, 204, 205, 206, 207, 208, 209, 210, 211, 212, 213, 214, 215, 216, 217, 218, 219, 220, 221, 222, 223, 224, 225, 226, 227, 228, 229, 230, 231, 232, 233, 234, 235, 236, 237, 238, 239, 240.
Interludes: 1, 2, 3. April Fools' Day: 2014, 2014 Comparison, 2015.
Recaps: 1, 2.
Happy New Year!
In the Valley, I mean. So far the real year has been... not without its flaws.
Let's see if we can't let a little of that misery bleed onto my Sims.
Wow! From a distance they almost do look like a family!
Michael: Yeah, I'm in my underwear... what? Why would you need to call back?
Abigail: Mental image.
Speaking of which.
Poppy: IT'S A CONDITION
Anthony: There is a sexy (?) nurse outside, sir.
Michael: Oh, good. Poppy's here.
Anthony: Enjoy your day at school, whoever you are!
Veronica: Hey, give him a break. He at least got my age range right.
Yes, yes. The less said about that chapter the better.
Michael: Let me get this straight. BONES?
Abigail: YES! BONES! In the cowplant milk. I can only assume they're Clay's.
Michael: Do you take that thing to a vet or a botanist?
Poppy: Somebody's ignoring me.
Poppy: NOBODY IGNORE ME
Michael: I...am gonna have to call you back.
You're just gonna go to work?!
Michael: Um, duh? It's not like fatty over there is gonna do it.
Poppy: Missed you too, man.
Wherever you go, if it's in a limousine you can hardly call it work.
Even the paps that follow you look classy!
Jill: Never call a woman a "pap."
Poppy: Yeah, too much learnin' is bad, huh?
Poppy: If one magic bookcase is good, I would imagine that two isn't too many.
The fuckin' 1%.
And I'm not referring to bikers.
I'm referring to people who have butlers.
Doing some work on the side?
Poppy: Just got a job!
Oh, neat. Webmistress? Financial advisor?
Poppy: State Assemblyperson.
Now I'm not sure whose limo this is.
Michael: ALWAYS MINE.
Michael: Hey Haggy, don't take all day! This sucker charges by the millisecond.
Agatha: I am going to remember "Haggy" for a very long time, Michael.
Michael: Ha! If you live that long, old spice!
Yeah, if that thing gets you state assembly jobs, it must be corrupted.
I know people like this.
Me, for example.
Agatha: So, they'll have the courthouse rebuilt for the end of this year.
Michael: I hope they get us more comfortable chairs.
Veronica: Fuck mommy.
Michael: In a bit, honey. In a bit.
This is what you get when you combine Sharpe and Whittaker.
This is what you get when you combine one bathroom with two women.
Michael: So far it's a pretty cushy job. All I have to do is listen to boring people and then decide which one I hate the most.
Michael: I'll be honest, all I care about is the big sack of cash I get every week.
Agatha: Aww, you mean you aren't in it to help the little people? Hahaha.
Michael: Don't be ridiculous.
Michael: Just a sec, someone's an idiot.
Andrew: Smarter than you!
Michael: But still a slave to your programming.
Michael: Hey, if this is about a case, I can't discuss it with you.
Andrew: It's about something I really, really, really, really don't want you to do, which you should do.
Andrew: But first get that camera off me.
Veronica: Don't move, mommy! They can smell your fear.
Andrew: And believe me, nobody hates him more than I do.
Michael: His nemeses maybe?
Andrew: I think I'm one of them.
Andrew: Look, what he did back there was amazing. I didn't think you could scrape two Nice points together from his entire family, and yet, there he was. In the fire.
Michael: It was pretty badass.
Michael: You clearly have an idea stuck in that beard somewhere. Scrape it off and let's have it.
Andrew: I think we should name the Valley after William.
Michael: ...you think this.
Michael: You, Andrew Murphy, think this.
Michael: What, he get done fucking your loved ones and start fucking you or something?
Andrew: Mention that again and I'll see you in court.
Andrew: And you'll be the complainant.
Andrew: Look. What happened at the courthouse was the stuff of legends.
Michael: URBAN legends!
Michael: Because it happened in the city.
Andrew: I GOT THAT YES
Michael: So you don't really want to name the place after William, you want to name the place after what people think William is.
Michael: Specifically, not an asshole.
Andrew: That's right.
Michael: If people have an ideal to aim for...
Andrew: Instead of a zombie queen to idolize...
Michael: Wow, what a genuinely selfless idea! It almost makes me sick.
Andrew: He ran into a blast zone, Michael. To save people. That's worth a lot more than all the giant dicks in the world.
Andrew: Like feeding candy to a baby.
Should I tell him his estranged daughter is here?
Andrea: Not if he's an estranger, no.
Andrew: That kid looks an awful lot like Poppy.
Andrew: Nah, not so much.
Michael: STOP PRETENDING IT'S AN ACCIDENT
Meanwhile, secret grow-op.
Poppy: Thanks for sharing.
Andrew: You're pretty good at this.
Andrea: I oughta be! My daddy's a mad scientist!
Andrew: Do I know him?
Andrea: Not as well as you think.
Michael: Oh god oh god. You've been talking to Agatha. Are you okay?
Agatha: FUCK OUT OF MY WAY
Michael: She's a character!
That's it, punch her in the head! She'll never see it coming.
Poppy: You might not want to let Michael see that.
Poppy: I'm gonna go to bed, as far as you know.
Michael: Sounds legit.
Poppy: It totally is.
Yeah! Chase that sexy snot-green tail!
Andrew: When you put it that way.
Why is this happening?
Poppy and Andrew: I don't know!
Poppy and Andrew: But I'm okay with it.
Agatha: WA-HA-HA! WALUIGI, NUMBER ONE!
Aren't you gay?
Poppy: I think everyone in this neighbourhood is bisexual.
There, see? I have lots of gay Sims! All of them.
Andrew: Did she see?
Poppy: Maybe not. The game might count her as downstairs until her pathing finishes.
Poppy: I don't know what came over me! It's like I've always been attracted to you, despite that stupid beard!
Andrew: I think she wants a better explanation than that.
Andrew: But I hear you! I feel like I knew you back before the world imploded.
WEDNESDAY: WHY AM I HERE
Poppy: Maybe we dated in a past life.
Andrew: I don't believe in past lives.
Poppy: Well I know for a fact I had one, so fuck you.
Andrew: I hate to change the subject, but we need to talk politics.
Poppy: HOW DID YOU KNOW I'M AN ASSEMBLYPERSON
Andrew: Um, I didn't.
Poppy: Well this had better not be about that stupid bomb.
Poppy: Pitch it to my bitch face.
Andrew: I think we should name-
Andrew: I was just saying I think we should name the-
Poppy: NOPE! And baby says nope too! That's TWO NOPES!
Andrew: WAH WAH WAH I'M POPPY AND I WON'T LISTEN FOR SOME REASON
Poppy: Okay, you convinced me.
If I can see your speech bubble, you're keeping the neighbours up.
Agatha: I'm taking this with me when I leave.
Michael: Oh, so you are leaving eventually?
Poppy: Eject the crone.
Michael: If she heard that you're dead.
Agatha: What did she say?
Michael: She complimented you on your excellent hearing.
Michael: Okay, let go. You smell a little.
Michael: It's so sexy that you waited for me.
Poppy: Poppy does what Poppy wants.
Don't look too deeply into it.
Veronica: Hi baby! Hi baby maker!
Poppy: Right, we're gonna have us a chat about that.
And let's schedule one about this, too.
Veronica: FUH FUH FUH I'M A POLITICIAN BUILD A WALL
It's funny 'cuz it works just as well in 2017 as it did back in 1961!
Michael: Magic telescope.
I think what we're seeing here is terrible facial genetics fighting a losing battle with excellent everything else genetics.
As for what he's seeing there, I'll leave it to your imaginations.
Michael: It's boobs.
Next time: a bit of chopping.
Michael: I'm seeing boobs.