Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates whenever I damn well please!
If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!
Pine Valley: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25A, 25B, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.
Clover County: 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118 119, 120. 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155, 156, 157, 158, 159, 160, 161, 162, 163, 164, 165, 166, 167, 168, 169, 170, 171, 172, 173, 174, 175, 176, 177, 178, 179, 180, 181, 182, 183, 184, 186, 185, 187, 188, 189, 190, 191, 192, 193, 194, 195, 196, 197, 198, 199, 200, 201, 202, 203, 204, 205, 206, 207, 208, 209, 210, 211, 212, 213, 214, 215, 216, 217, 218, 219, 220, 221, 222, 223, 224, 225, 226, 227, 228, 229, 230, 231, 232, 233, 234, 235, 236, 237, 238, 239, 240, 241, 242, 243, 244, 245, 246, 247.
Interludes: 1, 2, 3. April Fools' Day: 2014, 2014 Comparison, 2015.
Recaps: 1, 2.
POSTING POSTING POSTING
KEEP THOSE ENTRIES POSTING
It's good to take pride in your work.
Regretting what you do?
Stephen: Haven't slept in two days. Too many naked chicks.
You can never have-
Stephen: TOO MANY NAKED CHICKS
Roger: IT WASN'T ME
Margaret: What's all this about a bomb?!
Rosemarie: I don't know what you're implying, but I showered before I came over.
Stephen: DAMN but it's good to be me.
You probably can't quite make it out, but Deborah's got the right idea: a pile of garbage.
Stephen: JESUS CHRIST I BANG A LOT OF WOMEN
Abigail: Enjoying your last few years of life?
Abigail: You heard me.
Stephen: Want to go do a sexy thing?
Stephen: Really? Always?! Awesome.
Rosemarie: SO awesome.
Carolina: I disapprove of what you're doing.
Stephen: Well I disapprove of visible lot edges, but not everything people disapprove of disappears.
Stephen: I think you ought to give me a chance. You might like me!
Carolina: That sounds like a terrible fate.
Carolina: I can tell you're only doing that to look at my chest, Stephen.
Carolina: I mean, go ahead, but don't pretend you're not doing it.
I thought you disapproved of him.
Carolina: It's a lot easier to do that from a distance.
Stephen: Shall we be on our carnal way?
Carolina: CRITICAL ERROR
Oh for crying out loud
Cool, at least someone accomplished something today.
Stephen: Thanks for picking up my trash!
Carolina: Happy to help, neighbour!
Stephen: You just earned yourself a complimentary photoshoot!
Carolina: Oh boy! I bet that's something I want!
Stephen: I think you'll like it.
Okay, that's enough ego stroking for one update.
Stephen: Hi Brooke! Hi Brooke's scary green dot!
Stephen: Oh, the game thinks you're a real employee! Get out of here before I have to give you money.
Brooke: What a good boss you are.
Stephen: Come cheat my wives with me.
Valerie: How often does a girl get that offer?!
Valerie: Actually, answer that. How often? I'm curious.
Stephen: You're the first person I've interacted with sexually since arriving here today.
Valerie: Gosh! That's suspiciously specific.
Valerie: But for the purpose of advancing the narrative, I'm in.
Jessie: I just want you all to know that I'm watching you. Always.
Stephen: Dude! You can't spy on my photo sessions! That's what the inevitable gallery exhibit is for! I hate people who try to cheat the system.
Brooke: Are we nearly done with this?
Stephen: Ask the Maker's OCD.
We can't, I medicated it away.
Stephen: Maybe you should stay naked all the time, just in case.
This is a studio.
Not a zoo.
The magic of walls-down!
I'm beginning to really hate Stephen.
Stephen: You have a GREAT rack.
Valerie: I'm offended!
Stephen: ...photographically speaking, of course.
Valerie: Oh! Well that's okay then, thank you.
Valerie: Ew! She's naked!
Valerie: The girl in the next image! I mean, this image!
Stephen: This joke progresses awkwardly!
Valerie: Man, that is a great rack.
If you think the bend in her legs looks bad, you should see how bad it is past the frame.
Luckily that non-Euclidean horror is omitted from the final product.
Valerie: How about some performance art?
Stephen: I'll charge you a reduced rate.
Valerie: Has anyone ever told you that you look like William's evil twin?
Stephen: No, and since we only reuse dialogue for running jokes, I'm hoping no-one ever will again.
Xavier: EVERYBODY! QUICK! THE CAMERA'S HERE!
Wren: I thought we'd never see it again.
Xavier: We need to think of something cool to do so it stays!
Wren: We could do something cool, if you were cooler...
Wren: Look! I can make a piece of metal protrude from my forehead!
Xavier: Pretty neat!
How come nobody's screamed about how the gate is naked lately?
Did we exorcise it?
Xavier: Rebecca's dad liked poop.
Wren: I think I'm gonna throw up.
Xavier: Bang! Bang! I'm a cop!
Wren: I disapprove of the modern police state.
Wren: ...which is exactly what a robber would say!
Okay, seriously though... it's a bit too on-the-nose how the robbers always die in TS2.
Ember: Shit. I think they see me.
Wren: Mommy, when's daddy coming home?
Ember: He's been home like three times. The real question is, when's daddy gonna take a fucking break?
Wren: Okay mommy! "When's daddy gonna take a fucking break?"
When he runs out of naked women.
Ember: Welp. Thanks for stopping by.
Xavier: What a healthy child-rearing environment.
Stephen: Why am I in the car?
The game thought you needed to go to "work."
Stephen: But I'm an artist. I was working in the studio.
Well hey, just wait until The Sims 3! I bet it'll have real-time simulated workplaces!
HA HA HA.
Wren: Mommy told me to tell you something but I won't 'cuz it's mean.
Stephen: Daddy's little blow softener!
That sounds wrong.
Not, like, call-the-police wrong, but at least let's-rephrase-that wrong.
Brooke: Hi! I'm the police.
Stephen: FUCK the police.
Brooke: Okay bye!
Stephen: Who is this? I need a frame of reference to bring up the specific cheating memory you're talking about.
Stephen: My wife? That doesn't help.
Stephen: Just a second, I think I'm trippin' balls.
Stephen: Hahaha no, I don't remember cheating on a pregnant woman. That sounds bad even for me.
Stephen: Shit, ABIGAIL? Oh, right! Right. That happened. Why do you bring it up? What do you mean JUST 'CUZ.
Stephen: Okay, well, remember that time aliens probed your anus? Sink your "just 'cuz" into that. I have to go greet a visitor.
Stephen: They're letting them out of the house earlier and earlier these days...
Stephen: Anybody up for a game of football?
Next time: yep. More Stephen.
By popular demand!