Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.
Updates whenever I damn well please!
If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!
Yada yada yada.
In which the youngest person is around seventy.
Stephen: Sleek moves for an old lady!
Abigail: My suit has an onboard dance enhancer.
Abigail: No! Stupid.
Brooke: Anti-jealousy potion.
I hope you brought enough for the entire neighbourhood.
Having fun touching your imaginary dance partners?
Having shared a house before, I can tell you it was nothing like this.
Brooke: You have a penis!
Kyle: Hahaha I do.
Sunny: I've seen it.
Stephen: I'm glad we can still be friends with benefits.
Friends with drawbacks too, though.
Sunny: Wanna have sex?
Kyle: In that direction?
Sunny: There's only one Ask On Date animation, so sue me.
Clay: Man, is my armpit belching or is Brooke Cormier around?
Brooke: I'm trying to combine the words "trash" or "garbage" with the words "apocalypse" or "armageddon" but nothing quite evokes this smell.
Sunny: Wow you're short.
Kyle: Not at all sensitive about it either.
Stephen: Look! My head is almost blocking the phone, but not quite!
I am really getting sick of myself and my stupid fucking pictures.
Like, did this moment of hoverhands need to be preserved for posterity?
Hey, this fake kiss almost looks real!
I take back one percent of the bad things I've recently said about myself.
Kyle: HEE HAW! HEE HAW!
Sunny: That does sound like a donkey!
Abigail: I'm still trying to figure out what this thing has to do with science.
What's the occasion?
Sunny: We're going out to dinner!
In fifty pics or less, I hope. I've got chapters to go, chapters to see.
Good for you guys.
Kyle: When you live with my family you learn to only look straight ahead.
Are you not going to walk with him?
Sunny: I'm moving when the damn prompt comes, and not a moment sooner.
Wow, it's almost like Brooke's a character now.
I never would have called that.
Stephen: Is there a port on this suit?
Abigail: Wouldn't you be worried about it suddenly closing, though?
It would give a whole new meaning to safely removing hardware.
Yeah, making out and blowing bubbles all the time must suck.
FRIDAY: A most salubrious scene! But wait! What does it lack?!
FRIDAY: Ahh, perfection.
Aren't you under a foundation somewhere?
FRIDAY: Then who kicked this can?
Yeah, I can only think of about twenty people.
Abigail: Sometimes I miss you.
Abigail: Yeah, when you're in your car. I throw rocks, and sometimes I miss.
Stephen: So that's where those dents keep coming from!
The bland restaurant!
I save it for my blander clientele.
Man! If Sullivan wasn't here this place would be a prime target for a little spring cleaning.
By which I mean a terrorist attack with no survivors.
Sunny: I think we just received a death threat.
Kyle: We've been dead before. It's no biggie.
More than two hundred and fifty chapters in, I've finally run out of things to say about kissing.
Sunny: I WANT FIVE HUNDRED TARTLETTES
Kyle: I WANT PORK ON YOUR FACE
Kyle: Shit! Fuck! Eye contact.
Kyle: And now my menu is dissolving.
Kyle: Okay, well, just feed us whatever looks logical.
Esther: So, dog food?
Chelsea: I keep imagining Melanie is walking around.
Melanie: That's impossible.
Sunny: This isn't what I wanted.
Don't worry, that's not what Kyle wanted either.
Passive aggressing much?
Sunny: You own the Prima guides. You can damn well look up my meal.
Asia: Kyle! What a surprise seeing you here!
Kyle: Who are you?
Asia: Your brother's girlfriend!
Kyle: That only narrows it down to like three hundred people. Which brother?
Kyle: Okay, so one hundred...
Asia: Well anyway I'm taking this.
Sunny: Is that cat grass?
Sunny: Meet me in the parking lot.
Kyle: We didn't bring a car.
Kyle: The concrete fuck pad!
Sunny: Inexplicable but cheap!
Yeah, you really are.
Of course, she's actually sucking the snot out of his nose.
Kyle: Man! Dresses are so convenient!
Kyle: And this concrete is softer than I thought it would be.
Sunny: I think it's new. I think it's wet.
Kyle: WELL I GUESS WE'RE DOING THIS FOREVER THEN
Andrew: Wow! What the hell are you.
Andrew: Are you casting a spell on me? Are you a witch?
Andrew: Are you perhaps mistaking me for someone who would have anything to do with you?
Andrew: I'M SAD THAT I'M CRYING
Andrew: I hate fat people!
Renée: Now feel how good a compliment feels!
Andrew: You're a genius.
Asia: Us nobodies gots to sticks togethers.
Asia: Geez, you two. Get some raised walls!
Andrew: Suck it.
Round One, FIGHT!
Kyle: I have something to show you!
Sunny: Is it your penis?
Kyle: My penis and I have something to show you!
Sunny: Oh my gosh! How did you know, Kyle's penis?!
Sunny: Which one of you am I marrying?
Kyle: We're a package dear.
Kyle: Yeah, I know. See if anyone notices.
Kyle: Oh, so NOW people see me!
Sunny: Is that your new style?
Kyle: Don't underestimate the allure of wind on your genitals.
Abigail: I CAN'T ESCAPE HIM
Kyle: I see Clay's alive again.
Kyle: I smelled it first.
Abigail: And the bus didn't even fit!
Stephen and Abigail: HAHAHAHAHA
Aw, are we ashamed to be disgusting perverts with another pervert nearby?
Oliver: There's nothing disgusting about it! We're not related.
No, but you should be.
Oliver: So? Kristen Stewart and Martha Stewart aren't related, but they totally should be! If only because nobody wants to see them make out with each other.
Angelica: So hey, do you drive your boyfriend to little league practice and help him with his spelling homework?
Sunny: Hey, fuck you too.
Oliver: We shouldn't fight! We're all part of the same family!
Angelica: Except we're not!
Oliver: Right, right! Except we're not.
Angelica: You know, even if our family ties are corrupted, we still have similar genetics.
Oliver: But as luck would have it, flipper babies aren't a thing in our universe.
Oliver: Since we're unrelated, we can date! Right?
Angelica: I'm sorry, I'm a bit distracted by the sight of my grandfather outside in his underwear.
Angelica: But yeah, we're totally boning.
Care to explain?
Abigail: Is Stephen outside?
Kyle: He can't be, I just saw him in his underwear.
Angelica: Our matching private school outfits appeal to my middle-class notions of societal superiority!
Brooke: Hi Angelica! Chatting up your uncle?
Angelica: This is going to be a tough sell.
Angelica: Maybe we should wait until after that whole "arresting people and trying them" thing blows over.
Stephen: Am I? Abby?
Stephen: Oh right! Kyle! I keep forgetting you're alive again.
Abigail: We only had eight children.
But in Stephen's defense, they're all pretty dull.
Wait. These are your parents. Why are you disapproving?
Kyle: Because it's gross.
Stephen: So this is your underwear configuration?
Abigail: I can even change the translucency, but there's kids around.
Stephen: Beat it, kid. So I can beat it.
Oliver: Hi, is this the gypsy matchmaker? Hi! Why do you have a land line.
Kyle: I liked you guys better when I was dead.
Now THAT is what family kisses really look like.
Abigail and Kyle: This is weird and I do not enjoy it.
Oliver: Get a room, you two!
DO NOT get a room, you two.
Next time: teens and shit.