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The Clover County Chronicles, Chapter 261


Welcome to the Clover County Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!



If the images in this chapter are broken, read it at gruglysims.ca instead!


I like writing this household.

That's probably a bad thing.




I made Jizelle way too cute.

And my terrible French dialogue makes her even cuter.

It's awful.



I'm glad she's moved on after her first love was brutally axe-murdered.

Jizelle: ...!



Corey: Hey, man. Thanks.



Jizelle: ARMANDOOOOOO YOU WAIR TOO PURE TO LEEEEVE



Corey: I saw the replay. Dude fell out of a window with an axe in his head. Priceless.



Jizelle: Just because you're eevil you don't 'ave to be mean.



Corey: Hey, buck up! You're an up-and-comer in ENTROPY!
Jizelle: Zo wait, you are een ze SCIA and in ENTROPY?!
Corey: All to meet cute girls like yourself, sad to say.



Jizelle: Zat ees sad, but I like eet.



Corey: Being a secret agent AND an evil secret agent is awesome. You get to know literally all the horrible things people do, and the people here do such horrible things!



Corey: Like, okay. Stephen Murphy? Artist? Lived in this house? Died in this house? Well, turned undead, but that's close enough?



Corey: He is secretly banging everybody.



Corey: Even this redhead! Who I am totally stealing from him. Because he's a chump.



Corey: She's dating Stephen's son. Sometimes. Probably gonna have to kill that dude.



Corey: BECAUSE I WANNA!



Corey: And oh! That time we got a university cook to put arsenic in the mac and cheese! Brilliant.



Corey: Might want to keep mum on that one, it hasn't come to trial yet.



Jizelle: I knew you wair bad, monsieur 'uffman, but I deedn't know you wair so good at eet!



Corey: I'm a deep and well-developed character.



Jizelle: And 'ere I am, un jolie fille all alone in ze world...



Jizelle: Et cetera et cetera, as ze Romans zay...



Corey: The only thing that could make you hotter would be a British accent.

Those are difficult to differentiate through typing, though.



Jizelle: I am new to all zis eevil doing. Could you, 'ow you zay, "zhow me ze ropes"?



Jizelle: And also fuck me? A bunch?



Jizelle: BAM! Unexpected cursing!



Corey: So unexpected!



Jizelle: 'a 'a 'a!
Corey: I think you can leave the "h" on when you're laughing, at least.



Corey: GuhBLAH

Pillow talk!



Corey: You get physical with me, madameoiselle, you'd better be willing to go all the way!



Jizelle: Try me, monsieur!



Jizelle: Tut-tut. You Eenglishmen fall too zlow.



Corey: Well maybe we don't all have the power of flight.



Jizelle: 'ow are you at oral examinations?



Corey: I'm a dentist's dream, baby.



Jizelle: I was referring to kissing, but alright.

Hey!

Jizelle: I DROP THE ACCENT FOR HUMOROUS PURPOSES SOMETIMES OKAY



Jizelle: I am steel a leetle 'azy on what I am exzpected to do.
Corey: Oh, kill people mostly.



Corey: You got a problem with that.



Jizelle: I keecked a man to deat een ze troat before you came.
Corey: I would have come, if I'd seen that!



Corey: That was an ejaculation joke.



Jizelle: Ta gueule! 'ave a leetle class!



Corey: I don't even know what that first part means.



Corey: But anyway, ENTROPY is laying low right now because of all that "law and order" bullshit going on. Did you hear? They're actually gonna build a prison!
Jizelle: Zounds like ze perfect place for an eevil base!
Corey: I like the way you think. And the way you talk!



Jizelle: I zound zooper cute, don't I?



Corey: If you were any cuter you'd be me.



Jizelle: Zat's pretty cute.



Corey: Oh, I know.



Corey: DAMN you picked a good face!
Jizelle: I just peecked all ze goofiest bits!



Corey: Goofy girls make me goofy.



Corey: What, no tongue?
Jizelle: I am not zat Francais. Yet.



Jizelle: What ees zat?
Corey: I DON'T KNOW



Corey: Well anyway, congrats on being hot! That'll come in handy.



Corey: Flying chicks! SO MUCH LIGHTER



Jizelle: I'll take you for a ride zomeday.



Corey: Baby, we'll both take each other on some rides.



Okay, relationship established. SCENE.



DID YOU KISS ALL NIGHT?!



Jizelle: What do we do about ze Gouverneur?
Corey: Laugh at him, mostly.



Jizelle: 'e ees kinda scary, zo! 'e killed like everybody!



Jizelle: 'e killed zis dude! 'oo iz zis dude.



Corey: There. Now nobody can spy on your speech balloons.



Corey: Or other things.



Corey: Your first test is coming soon, my dear.
Jizelle: I cannot wait! Do I need a pencile?



Corey: You just need that strong kicking leg you mentioned earlier.



Corey: Also "pencil" is crayon in French.
Jizelle: Really? Zen what do zey call crayons?
Corey: I dunno. Pencils?



Jizelle: 'a 'a 'a.



Aww, they look like a heart.

A heart of DARKNESS



Only a thousand? Cheapskate.



Jizelle: 'e 'as an 'eart of stone! And zomesing else of stone in 'is trousairs.



Corey: It's good to be bad.



Corey: Kill the man.



Jizelle: What man.



Corey: THAT man.
Rookie Vampire Hunter Conrad GilsCarbo: I'm here! Not sure why.



Rookie Vampire Hunter Conrad GilsCarbo: You give me the funny pants feeling.



CRACCCCK

Jizelle: You're goddamn right I do.



Rookie Vampire Hunter Conrad GilsCarbo: my testicles are dust



Jizelle: 'ow did I do?
Corey: 'ow is right!



The Grim Reaper: RIGHT IN THE BALLS. AN INSTANT KILL.



Jizelle: Ze Grim Reaper approves.
Corey: And he knows death!
The Grim Reaper: YOU'VE MET MY BROTHER?



Corey: Now! You must murder everyone who comes into this house.
The Grim Reaper: AHEM.
Corey: WELL OBVIOUSLY NOT YOU



Jizelle: I zink I'll like ziz job.



Looks like steady work, at least!



Jizelle: Zervice wit a zmile!



They make lovely accent pieces.

Next time: a whole new meaning for coitus interruptus.

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Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
lumy12
Jul. 30th, 2017 01:22 am (UTC)
I like the 'a 'a 'a... although it does bring to mind the Count from Sesame Street... ? She IS really cute. And I love the symmetry of that living room!
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )