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The Clover County Chronicles, Chapter 270


Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!



I bet if my chapters were all this short I'd have all of them done by now.




It's pronounced "White."

I don't mean "White-akker," I mean "White."



Yeah! That's a legitimate way to set the scene.



Oh!

She blew her old age away.



Michael: You're creepy, go away.



Michael: You're sad, go away.



Jewel: Soda! It made me young again.



Just like watching a movie in the theatre.



I've got crackers, but I feel like I should have popcorn.



Jeremy: I already seen this one.



Jewel: And we're going on a cruise for our honeymoon!
Ally: Honey, you are engaged to Michael Whittaker. You'll be lucky to get a five-minute break.
Michael: Yeah, a cruise, are you nuts.



Jewel: Hey, why does this engagement ring say "Dearest Poppy" on it?
Michael: Because RECYLING that's WHY, you PLANET HATER!



Poppy: Life's pretty good when your glass is EIGHT GLASSES ALL FULL



Michael: Awesome! I had a Want for "Hire an Employee from the Penal System!"

What?



Veronica: It hurts when I do this. *flick*



Jewel: Are you projecting Michael onto this flamingo?
Poppy: THE OTHER ONE IS YOU



Jewel: He likes me!
Poppy: So you're thought balloon illiterate, huh?



Poppy: Is this the part where I finally kill him?



Michael: Hold off on the killing for just a bit longer, please. I've almost got my Lifetime Want.



Whittaker's Discount Furniture!

Michael: Whittaker's Fine Furniture!

Fine, Fine.

"Your furniture might be nice, but is it fine? No, I mean... is it fine furniture. Not "is your furniture okay" because we're not furniture doctors, and not "is your furniture fine" because you're not gremlins. Are you?"



Don: Don't get the joke.

Me either, it's been years.



Jewel: MORE BLOOM PLEASE



Don: I'll take two!



So, Michael rented you from the cops.

Don: The shit you mastermind, man...



Michael: No talking to the Maker. Separation of church and shop, you know.



Jewel: Do you got stuffs?!
Ichelle: No?
Jewel: Oh. Then you don't need tables.



Kay: Do these tables come with houses? To house them?
Jewel: Goodbye.



What happened?

Don: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT HAPPENED



Michael: If it's not in the screenshot record, our policy doesn't cover it.



Michael: This had better be lemonade.



Oh, good. This is always my favourite part.



I like how you got those lights to only light up to your property line.



Abigail: I can't believe they let storms happen here, what a shit store.



Jewel: Come back when you're less stupid.



Jewel: Or when the warlock's gone.



Victor: Haha! Caught you! This was a sting operation all along!



Penny: Wouldn't this look nice in our house, Jerome?
Jerome: We aren't married anymore, Pen.
Penny: I know. I just wanted to hear someone say that.



Theresa: Is there a secret agent discount?
Michael: That's classified.



Jewel: What's that face for?
Jesse: ...expressing emotions? What's yours for?



'aving a run of throwers are we, governess?



Seasons introduced weather.

Apartment Life introduced random obnoxious NPC weather overrides.



I hear that happens to old guys all the time, buddy.



Wow! That looks like shit on a one-tile lot.



Jewel: Wanna buy a chair? You're old.



Jessie: Why are you wearing my clothes?
Anthony: If I was wearing your clothes you'd be naked.



Prof. Nolan Trimble: I'M OLD AND ANGRY



Jewel: Write down everything he says for the cops, Don.



Don: It's okay, sir! We can be jail buddies!



Don: Either bitch somewhere else, or prepare to be my bitch.



Prof. Nolan: I'm still satisfied with my purchases.



Prof. Nolan: I love being old! There's never any consequences for your actions!



Prof. Nolan: WHAT A COINCIDENCE



Prof. Nolan: WHAT A PROLONGED COINCIDENCE



Prof. Nolan: I think I offended the clouds somehow.



Michael: I'll remember this faithful service when your court case comes up.
Don: Really?
Michael: HAHAHA NO! That's conflict of interest.



Jewel: Why you so cold, boss?
Michael: 'cuz it makes me hot.



Michael: I do most things for that reason.



Poppy: I think of him as being pretty hot myself.



Michael: Wait, wait. Back up. What's a "friend"?



Jewel: Teaching baby how to be boring?



Jewel: ...



Jewel: TELL NO-ONE



If character is what you do in the dark...

...you're a pretty boring character, Mike.



Jewel: Naked pot! Value-added.



This house was missing a certain everything.



Anthony: Is that your helicopter upstairs?
Jewel: Are you having a stroke?



Are you?



Veronica: I get it! This is a game about making people feel bad enough to lose!
Michael: That's why I call it the Game of Life!

Next time: a minor household blitz.

I'm so proud of myself.

Recent Posts from This Journal

Comments

cityofcolorful
May. 19th, 2017 12:38 am (UTC)
Yay!
I've been away from Livejournal for 3 years. I'm so happy to see that you are still doing your thing! I'll be starting over from the beginning to refresh my memory.

You are absolutely AWESOME!!
gruglysims
Jul. 18th, 2017 08:09 am (UTC)
Re: Yay!
Thanks :) Of course, just to prove you wrong, I disappeared after you posted this comment.

But I don't disappear for long. And am presently not disappeared again!

Appreciate the kind words!