Welcome to the Sharpesvale Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.

Updates whenever I damn well please!



Do-over!

Hahaha! "Do."

'cuz there's sex involved.




Lance: Don't bring Kyle this time. I blame the crash on him.



Lance: No, I think you're misunderstanding me. Do NOT bring any FRIENDS. To our PRIVATE SEX PARTY.



Lance: I honestly thought you were smarter than this.



Lance: ...that was too loud, all I got was static.



Lance: Well maybe YOU'RE an asshat, too!



Lance: Get that asshat over here. Pronto!



Lance: I am upstairs now.



Lance: I am outside now!
Sunny: It's a Christmas miracle!



Sunny: In July.



Sunny: 'tis the season to be fucking!



Lance: I got all kinds of horizontal surfaces.



Sunny: It feels like I've already made this mistake once.



Sunny: And this gorgeous setup is definitely memorable...



Sunny: I hope I'm not having a dream on loop.



Sunny: Even if it does smell nice.



Sunny: Our hairs are merging.
Lance: Must be love.



Apparently.



I already narrated this shit once, do something new.



Lance: Men have no imagination, so I'll leave that up to you.



Chelsea: Déjà screw this.



Sunny: Da ba dee, da ba da!



Sunny: That's from an old song that I-
Lance: Don't care.



Lance: Hoo-whee! Where'd you find that little number?!
Sunny: Back of the closet. Labelled "weapons-grade hottitude." So there's that.



Sunny: I'mma dye it in the bathtub.
Lance: Respectful!



Sunny: Why so blue?
Lance: I could ask you the same!



Sunny: That one gets an "E" for "Effort."
Lance: It's more than I deserve.



Lance: Definitely more than I deserve!



Lance: TOTALLY WORTH RUINING A BATHTUB



Sunny: ESPECIALLY SINCE IT WASN'T MINE



Lance: If you're gonna re-do a chapter, you might as well re-do it well.



Kent: I died at some point?

Yeah probably.

Were you the basement corpse?

Kent: Oooh, that's right! Here's to having an old man's memory forever...



Lance: THAT was INCREDIBLE.
Sunny: I see why they called you "Lance" now.



Lance: ...but... they called me that as a baby.

Ewww.



Lance: Man, what's the point of killing people if they keep coming back?



Lance: This is my new hobby.



Sunny: You're a dedicated hobbyist. Of sex.
Lance: A sex-ist!
Sunny: Except no.



Lance: Best jousting tournament ever!



Ooh, look who's getting artsy.

2012!Grugly: Why you always gotta be tearing me down?

Sorry.



Sunny: Make sure you get a shot of my backside. It's my best side.



Sunny: I thought these chapters were pruned.

THEY ARE.



Sunny: I'm down for a few more pics, mind you.



Sunny: But not if they're that "flattering."



Lance: I think my balls are empty.
Sunny: I was about to ask.



Lance: Was it good for you?
Sunny: I wouldn't let you stop if it wasn't.



Aaaaaand dismount.



Lance: You gonna... relax a bit?
Sunny: My body's still recovering.



Lance: Looks pretty good to me.



No arguments.



Lance: Tastefully framed and everything!



A real conversation-starter.



Lance: Don't judge me, NPC trash.



Lance: You're not trash specifically. All NPCs are trash.



Jordan: Thanks for the education, short stuff!



Lance: New mission: kill all NPCs.



Are you sure you didn't dye that stuff in the toilet?



Lance: I really need that question answered.



Sunny: I'm much too neat for that.
Lance: Yeah, you are pretty neat.



Sunny: I don't think this is as romantic as you think it is.



Sunny: I can see your fingernail clippings in here.



Sunny: It smells like Drano and wet dog.



Lance: We're breaking-in the fixtures!



Sunny: Breaking my back is more like.



Sunny: Although I will admit this one is kinda funny.



Lance: SO SLIPPERY



Sunny: Okay, that's my quota for the decade.



Lance: I live here now.



Sunny: I could probably flush him out if I had to.



Sunny: Another love gone down the drain.



Lance: Speaking of which...

Woo! Ending on a poo joke. High class, man, high class.

Next time: a wedding 'tween man and beast.